Owner of a Lonely Heart
by WeEeEeEeEe
Summary: I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.... SS
1. X

Sap… The only reason it exists is to show us that it's not going to last. – Me.. so cynical.

Seth opened his eyes to an amazing sight. One that he had dreamt an uncountable amount. Through his eyes he saw the most beautiful girl in the word. The girl who has plagued his mind ever since he can remember. The site he saw was Summer Roberts walking gracefully towards him wearing a black dress that deliciously hugged her curves. His eyes caught hers instantly as she released her special smile only reserved for him. The cute innocent smile that could warm up and brighten any of the darkest places.

He moved up on his elbows, slightly disorientated and turned his head to face her. She approached him slowly in a half skipping step by step motion as Seth released his own special smile.

"Hey doable." She whispered in a cheery tone when she stopped a metre in front of him.

"Hey you." Only now realising he was on the beach. It was lovely day. One that came to mind only in lame chick flicks. The sun was beating down on him with a cool breeze floating through the air. He squinted waiting for his eyes to readjust to the brightness.

"Cohen." She whispered as she knelt down next to Seth on her knees, placing a light kiss on his lips.

"What was that for." Seth inquired taking in her appearance once again finishing with her face. God she is beautiful.

"Do I need a reason to kiss my boyfriend." She murmured smoothly leaning back. "Plus u look so adorable when u squint like that, I just couldn't resist." She added smiling and leaning in again.

He just looked at her blankly. She knew that he didn't like being called adorable.

"Shut up punk." She hit him playfully. "I will call you whatever I want to. Especially if u want some of this." She said revealing a brown paper bag that Seth only now noticed.

Seth thought about commenting on how he didn't say anything but his mind left it at that as his eyes caught on to what summer was holding. "Ooooo, what u got there?" As he tried to reach for the bag.

Summer swatted his hand away. "Well my _adorable_ boyfriend, I have here a drink named mountain due, and a doughnutwannabe called a bagel. I got 2." She announced happily.

Seth leaned up kissing the tip of her nose for a sec then leaned back into his previous position. "Well you definitely know the way to a man's heart."

Seth absolutely loved it when she did these kinds of acts. Kind of a reassurance that stabilised his every reoccurring insecurity's. Last thing he remembered was it being around three in the afternoon. They where both having a picnic on a too prefect Sunday afternoon on the beach. They had being enjoying themselves munching on some fish and chips that they had collected when passing by the pier. After a tickling match or two and a couple of making out sessions they had tired themselves out and lay hand in hand looking up at the sky on blanket chatting, gently talking to each other as the cool breeze washed over them. Next thing he knew he was waking up to an approaching Summer.

"A mans heart?" Summer question with a sly smile, bringing Seth out of his thoughts and back to their conversation.

Seth smiled back looking amusingly at her, then returning his sight back to the bag. "Can I have, pwease." Doing the whole pleading eyes thing and placing his hand out.

"Here sweetie." She said, taking out the mountain dew and handing it to him. She took out the bagel breaking it in half and handing one part to him.

Seth took the piece and started munching on it in his uniquely adorable way. Summer sitting next to him, watched his every move and motion with ardent interest and amusement. Her heart swelled with love as she gazed at him, but at the same time reprimanded herself at being so mushy. But what can she do, he brought out that side of her that didn't seem to exist pre Seth Cohen.

Seth could feel summer looking at him but decided against returning the gazed yet. He finished off his half of the bagel then took a keen interest in the sowing of the blanket he was sitting on. Becoming restless a mere few seconds later he decided to see why he felt a hole was being burnt through him. The second he lifted his head to look up summer looked away with a stupid grin on her face. She didn't like it when people saw what she affectionately called "The Lame Love Sick Smile," with a capital for each word. That smile was only for sappy romance movies, not for real life, not for her, not for Summer Roberts, but sometimes she just could help it, just maybe fairy tales can come true.

Seth looked on at her amused for a second.

Summer returned her gaze to Seth's eyes.

He smiled.

She smiled.

After holding the gaze for a moment she looked away again, mesmerized by the affection she captured from his eyes.

"Hey you, what's up." Taking her chin with his hand and gently gliding her head back so they could continue eye contact.

She smiled. "I was just wondering…." She said fading off at the end of the sentence thinking of a way to break the 'moment' that was of cause mandatory in their relationship.

"Really, and what would u be wondering about." Giving her a quick peck on the lips.

Moving to straddle Seth, she leaned up brushing his ear whispering tenderly. "If I've told you that I love u today?"

"Nope I don't think u have." He stated trying to hold himself as Summer continued teasing his ear. Leaning back slightly his eyes swept over her face taking in her each and every feature, loving the smell of her perfume that he couldn't quite remember, he was positive it was something from the cK range, it kind of smelled like strawberries, which was so alluring and arousing he couldn't even let the conversation finish.

"Well I wa…"

Being overcome from lust Seth shifted their weight in a smooth moving fashion resulting in Summer being guided back on the blanket with Seth holding himself on top of her leaning down, kissing her with intimidating passion.

Summer felt her heart rate begin to escalate loving the feeling she was getting from the way Seth was kissing her. She turned her head slightly to allow better access as she allowed Seth's tongue to console her own.

The intensity of the make-out session had escalated rather rapidly in such a short amount of time. Seth's hand was roaming around under Summer's shirt, his hand reminiscing with areas at her back with skin delightfully smooth. He closed his hands letting his nails slide down her back towards the tip of her skirt. Summer was feeling her resolve slipping away in a prolific fashion. She regained her bearings holding up her arms, pushing him away at the shoulders. Seth simply looked at her. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. His eyes spoke to her. And what they were declaring was starting to melt whatever resolve she was attempting to grasp onto. He leaned down slightly, his lips mere millimetres form hers, still keeping eyes contact. He could smell the intoxicating aroma that emanated from her. He stayed still lost in the moment. Lost in his thoughts…

His feelings…

His desires…

Her eyes…lost in her…

She couldn't take it, him looking at her like that, she felt her heart swell with love with wave by wave crashing sending warm serges through her body. She leaned up as they shared a love woven kiss. And Summer's resolve had disintegrated. Moving her head to allow better access letting the kiss deepen.

A few moments later Seth pulled back, a delicate smile lacing his lips.

"Umm summer as much as I would love to continue to do this on the beach, I ahh don't think it is quite appropriate." Smiling his cute smile.

Summer still trying to catch her breath. "Umm what? - Ahh yea I agree." Smiling back but not having a clue why, her eyes fixated on Seth's. "So why don't we take this some where else?" Staring straight him in the eye.

Seth, liking where this was going smile contently. "Ahh...yea…umm, sure lets…" Great that was smooth.

"Nice Cohen, real smooth." Seth smiled at her. She sighed in a pleased fashion loving the effect she had on him.

She rose to her feet dusting off any remnants of sand from her dress. As she started a unique skip / running technique, only a few metres from her origin, she turned back to check out what Seth was doing. To her disappointment he was on the blanket, but now in an upright sitting position just staring at her.

She sighed to herself, amused at what Seth was doing. Sometimes she could never guess what his next move would be. Sometimes he was just…what was the word…capricious? - or was it just plain weird. After gathering her thoughts she decided to address him.

"Hey Seth..." she accentuated the voul in Seth. "How about we go via my house first before we meet everybody at your house." A hint of nonchalant seduction floating in her tone.

"Hmm and why are we going to pass by your house?" Starting to stand up.

Slowly taking a step back cocking her head slightly. "Use your imagination… Cohen." She appeased seductively letting the word 'Cohen' roll off her tongue.

Seth immediately started rolling the blanket up. "Well my imagination is going crazy right now so why don't you tip the scales in a particular direction." He looked up, following in her direction.

Summer stopped and looked up at him. "Hi, excuse me - excuse me."

Seth looked at her confused. "Summer, ahh….what!"

With Seth's eyes fixated on Summer she started again. "Excuse me sir. Can u please move your seat in an upright position."

"What the -"

Seth's eyes flashed open, flinching at the scene is eyes were showing him. He glanced around taking everything in. He closed his eyes as realisation dawned on him. As he sighed he rubbed his face with his hands, acknowledging the hostess.

"Having a nice dream ay. Sad it got interrupted?" A husky voice brought Seth out of his thoughts.

Seth looked at the man sitting next to him. "More like a scary nightmare."

The man stared at Seth for about ten seconds, making him feel slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. "Ahh I see." The man was about sixty years old with a white beard and a wrinkled tanned skin. Probably a local Californian. Seth thought he looked a lot like Santa but with a much shorter beard and an undersized green round brim hat. "Yeah, one of those ones, that seem so real – so life like."

Seth faced the man still talking in his features. He just looked so normal. The picture book thought of what an old man looked like, so inviting and relaxed. Thinking about what this person has experienced throughout his life and the stories he had he answered his question. "I guess u could call it that."

The old man continued without hesitation. "You know, some people say that dreams are connected to your desires, what you are seeking in life ultimately or at the present."

Seth looked at the man with a regarded scepticism.

The man smiled as Seth saw something flash in his eyes as he continued. "I have heard that dreams are symbolic visions." He lowered his head slightly breaking for affect, then raising his head to reconnect eye contact. "Symbolic visions of unconscious drives and wishes that would be threatening if you…um, you expressed them out loud."

Seth looked away thinking about what the man said. "Or I could take the Freud direction." Seth replied for no reason. Just to say something.

"Ahh yes good old Freud. Unique character he was." The man now glancing out the window. "And which direction would that take you."

Seth took a moment to think of a response. Before he spoke he waved at the attendant succeeding in grabbing her attention, smiling. "Can I please have a drink, any type that contains any alcohol. And umm an empty bag."

The attendant took a second to regard Seth while the old man chuckled. Sensing that Seth was already somewhat inebriated she tried to persuade him to choose a different beverage. "Sir I don't think that is a wise choice of beverage, you seem a bit… may I recommend some water?"

Seth smiled at her response before replying playfully, "How about u get the stuff, and I be the judge of that."

"Okay, no worries." The attendant replied smiling amusedly.

Seth returned his thought back to the old man's question. After a moments silence he continued the conversation. "Maybe the right, but I doubt that."

"Why u think?"

The attendant returned smiling at Seth handing him his requests. "Enjoy." She replied still wearing the amused grin

Seth thought it was kinda weird of having such a deep conversation at a time like this. He didn't even know his name. Seth thought he was probably a Frank. He looked like a Frank anyway. "Because I have travelled down that direction before and it only resulted in pain. A lot of pain."

Frank, still looking out the window, "Do u think you needed the pain for self growth."

As much as Seth wanted to call this conversion lame, the man had brought up an interesting point, one which he had never thought of before. He laughed for a second but it felt unusual. "Maybe, but that depends on what happens after and-"

"But either way u have leaned something, what makes you sure." Frank cut him off

Seth thought for a second. That didn't even make sense! "Well I'm going back, and I guess I will be facing all my demons, more so then… then you think." He breathed out feeling pleased that he could finally relinquish some of the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for a couple of days now….but knowing some weights had embedded itself in him. "So what do u propose I do." "And please don't answer my question again with another question."

The man looked at him with an amused smile. "You're a smart young boy. You got to figure it out for yourself. I will give you one piece of advice though. Life is about perception. View it as u will, but don't look back saying 'why didn't I realise that.'"

Seth smiled back at the man and nodded in understanding and appreciation returning his attention to his drink for a moment before taking it down in one gulp.

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Seth walked out the automatic doors of the Airport, tasting the fresh air. It warmed him, he reminisces with the scent as memories coming flooding back. It feels foreign yet so secure, like a warm hug from a grandparent u haven't seen in years. He looked up at the sky, then around, taking in all his surroundings, evaluating it - a bias judgment. The sky was slightly overcast with the sun setting peacefully in the distance, effectively producing a melted orange and purple colour dissolving in the scattered clouds. "Huh. Newport. Back. And still can't even have a normal sunset." He stumbled unceremoniously up to a taxi, opening the door shoving his one and only bag into the back before taking his seat. As he announced his address he solemnly looked out the window. He inhaled slightly then exhaled heavily.

"California here we come. Right back where we started from."

Seth started to become nervous. His gaze still fixated out the window but now he recognised certain landmarks. Dread and misery are now added as ingredients in the come back home cake. The familiar land marks now fold into familiar streets, into familiar neighbourhood, into familiar houses. And now familiar driveway. He pays the taxi driver, takes out his bag and is paralysed to the spot. He can't move, he just gazes up at the house from the top of his driveway. After a couple of deep breathes he starts to walk finally reaching the front door. He reaches his hand up to knock but stopped himself, feeling like such a stranger to his own home. A home he hasn't resided to in so long.

A young boy opened the door startling Seth.

"Hello." The boy paused staring at Seth unnervingly. "Your Seth!" he announced excitedly upon realisation.

"Ahh yup that's me. What's your name?" Seth bent down to reach eye level.

"I am Joshua Lincoln." He mumbled proudly.

"Hey you're the cute little boy from next door"

"Cute, ahhhhhh. But ya, im from next door."

"Wow, u really have grown, look at you, all muscles, looking a mean and green." Josh was a cute little boy. He had soft curly brown hair with matching innocent eyes. Seth could see a little of him in the child.

"So bouncer can I come in or is this place for exclusives only?"

The boy smiled, took Seth by the hand and started to lead him into the house. Seth slowly followed walking step by step looking around the house to see any changes. His head started to swirl in realisation of the occurrence of the event inevitably going to unfold. He took a moment to gather himself, reassuring himself that he is strong enough to endure what's coming, and endure the pain of seeing her again. He wonders what pain and emotion will arise at the mere sight of her. What will he say? What will he do? Scenarios zig zag through his minds eye. What will she say? And what will she do? As his mind still races he releases a foreign word from his lips, "Summer" in a light whisper to himself.

Josh, still holding Seth's hand looked up at him catching what he said. "She is here…" He tugged slightly on Seth's arm bringing Seth out of his thoughts.

"So u know where my mum is?" Not hearing what Josh had said. _Come on Seth you can do this. One step at a time, first mum then later you can worry bout her._

"Yups, she is sitting in the family room."

"Lead the way little man." He said trying to reassure himself by talking confidently.

Josh lead the way still clutching Seth's hand, through the kitchen to the family room. Seth stoped dead still. He gazed upon his mum, she turned from her seat somehow sensing him. She stood there limp for a moment before racing up and taking Seth is a vice like grip hug.

"Seth, sweetie." She breathed sadly.

Seth dropped his bag embracing her in the hug. "I know mum. It's going to be okay. It's all going to be ok." He sighed sadly leaning back to have a good look at her. She looked plain sad. Not miserable or unhappy, just sad. Seth decided to attempt to somewhat improve her mood. "Come on, take a seat. I will fix us some coffee." He led her over to the couch and sat her down, retreating back to the kitchen to fix the coffee.

Josh making his presence aware went to the couch and crawled up onto Kirsten's lap. Seth looked around the kitchen pulling open drawers and cupboards to check if everything was where he had last witnessed them. Josh becoming bothered by the silence, broke the ambience, "Aunt Kirsten, I like Seth." He announced as if Seth wasn't there.

Kirsten laughed while Seth smiled. "Thanks buddy" Seth called form the kitchen starting to prepare the beverage.

When he had prepared the drinks he brought her it, taking a seat next to her. "Mmm this is nice. Hits the spot. So how was your flight?

Seth entertained her with some Mother Son chat for a few minutes, before he decided do get to the point. He really was worried about her. He knew that he could deal with the pain. He had some what become a professional at dealing with it. Plenty forms of it too. It would just melt into him, join forces with the cyclone that currently rages hell inside him. Plus he had his own _special _technique to cope. But these techniques hadn't been employed in a while.

He took her hand and asked sincerely, "So how are you doing? Like really doing?" He looked her in her eyes worriedly. Searching for the truth.

"I'm doing fine." She looked up at Seth then began again. "I'm doing alright. I know its a difficult part of life but I've come to except it. You know with my dad and especially my mum. Such is life." She solemnly looked at her drink. Swirling it, trying to see her reflection through the ripples. Watching her reflection shift from normal to the effect that the ripples had.

Her thoughts drift off to escape. To end the dwelling on such a poignant pain. Was this how she had learnt to accept this?

Seth sifted through her words. He needed to hear that she was ok, at least dealing, just one sentence, not wanting a parental placebo 'truth.'

A couple of minutes ensued then, leaving both of them in their world of thoughts.

Seth finished off his drink, stood up and went to her. He leaned down engulfing her in a tender loving hug resting his check on her head. He wished he could capture all of her pain, gather it all up and devour it. He leaned back placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Kirsten looked at Seth and smiled. Her little boy had grown up. So mature, acting all strong for her. She grasped his hand looking fondly at him, the way only a mother can. "Thank you." She half whispered half mouthed.

She saw something moving behind Seth and glanced behind him making eye contact with the person. _Oh no!_ She felt a stirring in her gut. _This is not going to be good..._ She looked back up to Seth but he was already turning around to follow her gaze.

He stood there motionless, as if he was looking upon the devil himself. Or maybe it's herself. Well in his mind it just might be. "Summer.." he breathed.

She stood still a few feet from him, completely clueless as what to do. She had thought about this an uncountable amount of times, the first confrontation, but here she was motionless, frozen. As scenarios flashed through her minds eye she felt a heat rising, gradually making its way up her body reaching her face.

Then she spoke.

_He we go. _In the most pleasant and meaningful voice she could muster she said, "Hi Seth." _What, that's all you going to say!_

There was a moment of ear piecing silence. There eyes locked for a moment before he looked down. She tried to read him, catch a whiff of what was going to be served. It had been so long, but she would never forget how. Seth turned back to his mother. Eyes glazed looking intently at her. Kirsten looked down immediately, not being able to stand the look in his eye, the emotions flashing through them.

Then he spoke.

It was in a low husky, raspy voice and came out in full force, hard and sharp. "What the hell is she doing here."

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"No. You go first." Hailey said.

Hailey and Ryan looked at each other both wearing concerned looks. They were standing outside Seth's bedroom door. They heard that Seth had arrived. They also heard that the Seth Summer confrontation had also arrived, relieved that its span lasted a sentence each. For now at least it was safe, but they weren't ignorant to the fact that the explosion that will be the actual confrontation will arrive soon. They were just going to extinguish the possibility of it arriving till after the more important sad situation was soothed.

"Umm you know what, I was thinking it be better if you went in first. Cause you're his aunt." Ryan replied.

"So? You're his brother. You can be all guy to guy bonding." Hailey stated, motioning her arm to the door.

"And u can be the understanding Aunt, that young cool relative that's easy to talk to." Ryan countered staying resilient.

Hailey huffed. "Fine, whatever." She said dismissively. Ryan regarded her for a moment, thinking that she had been spending way too much time with Summer.

They both knew that Seth, when dipping into his depressed states, was extremely hard to talk to. They both had enormous trouble trying to help him through the last episode. So naturally they both shied away at the privilege of repeating it. It was difficult to assume what mood he would be in, especially from a situation such as this.

Hailey gently knocked on the door, hesitantly opening it, walking through. She found Seth sitting at the far side of his bed looking out the widow. The sun had almost set which left the room littered with shadows omitting an eerie ambience. Guessing that Seth had not heard her yet, she moved over to the bed, sitting on the opposite side of it, her back facing his back.

"Hey." Hailey said tentatively.

"Hey." Seth responded. I guess he knew she was there.

Typical of Hailey she got straight to the point. "You alright?" She asked playing with the polish on her finger nails. From his answer she could read which mood he is in and how he was coping with everything.

Seth breathed out. "I am…..actually alright." He said sincerely somewhat surprised by this revelation. He moved around so that he was sitting cross legged towards Hailey. She mirrored Seth's actions positioning herself cross legged facing him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

"Seriously? Your not lying to me?" She took his hand in both of hers.

"I'm not lying. I'm being serious." He looked down. "I'm not saying I'm not sad or whatever, but I'm dealing." He looked back up. "And yes a lot better then usual.." drifting off at the end of his sentence.

Seth was her only nephew. She did care about him greatly, she always thought of herself as more of an older sister to him. Hailey had mellowed heaps from the party girl she once was when Ryan first came into the picture. She was much more family orientated and caring now. She was leading her own life now. She had her own house, a respectable job, a special someone. Things were coming together for her.

She gave him warm smile, glancing at him. He smiled back. She opened her arms inviting him for a hug. Seth gladly accepted, enjoying the warmth and reassurance. Family hugs really could do wonders.

"Good cause if you were lying I would have had to adopt a new approach. And that requires time, which really I wouldn't want to waste on you." They leaned back into their sitting position.

Seth smiled, mainly to himself, appreciating the attempt at trying to lighten to mood, take his mind of what's happening. "Really, and what would this new approach entail?" he questioned.

"Well, umm since the giving you space to sought out your mess kinda sucked, I think I would go to beating some sense into ya." She waited a moment before continuing. "Verbally of course."

Seth smiled, "Verbally, _of course_."

"Yeah, I don't think I can take you one on one anymore. You kinda filled out." Regarding his figure. " Well sorta, umm actually nahh, its just the shadows."

Seth smiled scrunching up his face. "Thank you"

She looked at Seth. Her adorable cute little nephew who going to endure an extremely hard time. She just hoped she helped him, even it was only a smidgen. "Come here" she said opening her arms again to take him in another warm hug.

Ryan meanwhile had been standing by the door, eavesdropping on the whole conversation. Seth seemed to be doing alright and he had really missed him. Thinking since when and why would he be scared of Seth, he knocked on the door, and entered the room.

Seth looked up to see who was coming in, praying it wasn't Summer. To his utter relief it wasn't, it was someone whom he was much more thankful to see. Ryan walked over smiling, greeting Seth in a firm hug.

"Hey, good to see you." Ryan said. They both moved over to sit on the side of the bed, feet on the floor.

Hailey switch position to mimic theirs while mouthing "bitch" to Ryan. Ryan just ignored her.

"So hey buddy" Seth appeased. "What's up?"

Hailey could see just from Ryan's presence there was an instant change in Seth. "Just came to check up on you. I see your not moping or any of your other coping techniques," Ryan said relieved. "Which I think we are all grateful for."

Seth smiled. "Yeah, you guys don't have to worry. I'm all goods. Well not _all_ goods but I'm alright. You guys got other things to worry about, and I'm telling you now, put me on the bottom or the list." He looked at the both of them glancing from one to the other. "Seriously." He shook his head to emphasize his point.

Hailey was first sceptical of this. Seth was hard to read sometimes, especially if he was committed to his cause. But there was something genuine that she could see. It was mainly his body language, but it was basically how he had approached both her and Ryan's questions on how he was dealing. As if it was some challenge he had to complete. That he was set on completing.

Ryan on the other hand saw that Seth was telling the truth. He was actually going to deal. Ryan's only concern was born from dilemma that is Seth's choices. He wanted to come straight out ask what his game plan was, kind of see which direction he was opting to go. Time had passed, people had changed, wounds healed? But Ryan knew that he couldn't, this was all on Seth.

"So." Hailey burst out randomly. "How was your flight?"

"You get any baby's crying? Get a good seat, not next to any weirdo's?" Ryan added.

Seth thought for a second delivering nonchalantly, "Well no baby's crying. Did have an unusual conversation about the queries of life with an old guy sitting next to me, I almost got rejected from boarding the flight cause they _thought_ I was too drunk passed out before we even took off, had a really really scary dream, O, and I think if I tried hard enough I could have become a member of the mile high club."

Hailey laughed while ryan just smiled. "Right…" Yup same old Seth.

Ryan, somewhat intrigued by the last part of Seth's recap of his plane ride inquired for more details. "What? With who?"

"One of the hostess'."

Ryan "Ahh" back in understanding.

Hailey interjected with her own inquiry. "So what you get up to in England. University student, all by yourself, single, living the high life. And I mean _high_ life. It's all legal there. Well it was when I was crashing there, well I think I was anyway." Hailey said enthusiastically, all of a sudden becoming interested what his absence could entail. Judging by her experiences in the Europe area she would bet that Seth had quite a few fairly entertaining tales to tell.

Hailey smiled to herself, caught up in her fond memories of gallivanting through Europe getting high as a kite, fucking random hot Euro guys, not having a care in the world. Good times, Good times she sighed, but was glad she was back home. She was over the partying, it kinda bored her now, not to say she still didn't party hard, cause she did, real hard, but in moderation, when she felt like relaxing and having a fun time.

Hailey while being consumed by her thoughts, missed the part where she mentioned Seth's single status, not realising why he was in England and the saga of why he was single. Ryan though had not eluded this slip, and the look on Seth's face definitely showed that he hadn't missed it either.

Ryan opened his mouth saying the first thing that came to his mind hoping to avert Seth's attention from dwelling on Summer. "So why don't you come down and get something to eat. You never did like aeroplane food so you must be hungry." Ryan said pushing of the bed to get himself into a standing position.

Seth looked up to see Ryan staring at him expectantly. "Huh? Umm, nah I'm not really that hungry. I just want to lie down. A bit fatigued from the flight. And the jet lagged, dude I don't even wanna do the math." Seth replied trying to show that he either did not hear the afore mentioned turbulent potential comment or displaying that it did not effect him.

Hailey moved up standing in front of Seth. "Okay. Well come down after you've had some rest." She smiled at him. "Now give me a big hug and we will see you down stairs soon, okay" Seth smiled back, accepting the offer of a hug.

"It's good to see ya." Ryan stated sincerely giving Seth a knowing look, a Ryan specialty.

"Yeah, we've all missed you." Hailey said leaning back from the hug. "I would have lost a lot of money betting on that." She added as an after thought.

"Why thank you" Seth responded sending her a toothy grin.

Hailey winked in response before following Ryan out of the room.

When the door was closed, they looked at each other. "Well that was as weird as expected." Hailey said shrugging.

"Did you have to mention that little part about him being single and all. Cause I don't know if you know, but the reason he went there was because of he and Summer...well…" Ryan drifted off.

Hailey cocked her head biting he lip. "Ohh." Looking back at ryan. "Well its been like over a year. Its about time he gets over it."

"He is…its just that – whatever." Ryan sighed giving up.

Hailey placed her hands on Ryan's back, walking him down the hallway towards the stairs. "Well I don't know. I came later and I heard the saga from like 5 different people."

Saga indeed.

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Seth lay on his bed. Head where his feet should be, blankly facing the ceiling. From his computer speakers the sounds of freeform five glide through the room.

Just thinking.

_I Fix a point upon the ceiling  
Nothing to do how can I make my escape_

And since when has that done anyone any favours. His thoughts drift, why he is back at this place, how is life is going to change now? He seemingly drifts numbly through these thoughts till they land on Summer.

Then the feelings start.

_The sudden shock, a hidden feeling  
No room to breathe feels like I'm locked in this space_

First its feels like a baby slobbering on any object it can get it hands on. A soft waving feeling curls at the pit of his stomach.

Gradually it fosters, to a mouse gently nibbling. The pain starts to oscillate, stretching its reach to consume any area available.

"She is here…in your house…just downstairs" He comments to himself.

_No more conversations on my own  
Walking one straight line, nowhere to go_

Like a disease it spread, like serpents slithering, searching for new hidden places to wreak havoc on.

But they are no hidden areas.

Within only a few moments Seth was consumed by the all the familiar pain that's married to any thought of Summer Roberts. Just like that his mind was frenzied with thoughts of her, his body writhed in pain.

_No more room to  
No more room to breathe_

He sat up abruptly. He tried swallowing but found he wasn't able to. It felt like his throat was constricted, closing up leaving him trying to catch his breath, eventually being able to once he relaxed a bit.

_Revealing all my secrets on my own  
The feeling's going down, now can't let go_

He sat there stiffly, reminiscing with the emotional pain. Trying in any way to hold it off, contain it, prevent it from growing, both in intensity and size. But I wasn't working. Nothing ever did.

_Don't wanna live it like I'm dreaming  
The lies are water all the decisions are fake_

Knowing the only way to stop the pain and ultimately saving his sanity he sat up and moved over to his study table. He opened the drawer taking out his exacto knife. He walked over to his window and peered out. The evanescence of the sun left the moon gleaming over the cloudless sky. The reflection of the moon glittered sporadically throughout the ocean while the wind blew untroubled.

_I've given up on hopes of leaving  
A broken bridge on every choice that I make_

He lifted up his shirt on the side with his right hand revealing the span of skin just above his hip bone. He traced over the skin with his hand, feeling the scars. They only reassured him that this was the only way. He took knife placing the cold metal against his skin. He inhaled a large breath. It had been so long since he had done this. He had been going so well. He sighed releasing his breath. The usual approach was adopted. Counting back from 3 and it would all begin…again.

"3" he said sternly.

"2" he was on a mission.

"1" he closed his eyes.

_Close my eyes to  
I close my eyes to see_

Mother Nature held her breath as the wind grew to an aching still, the trees momentarily froze, the moon sighed with the gleaming and glittering absent for just the moment.

Seth rocked his head back breathing heavily. After a moment he sat on the side of his bed. He reached for a tissue to cover up the wound, his mind reeling. He continued to breath heavily, focusing on the cut and the pain its _revealing_, anything to defer the Summer Roberts inflicted torture. He moved his legs up on the bed so he could lie down. Taking a moment he closed his eyes.

_Where I turn it depends  
Where I fall in the end_

His thoughts drifted again…

"Fuck, I gotta get out of this place."

He lifted up his shirt to check on his wound. It seemed to have stopped bleeding. He threw off his shirt walking to his closet to check if he had any old shirt that he would still deem worthy of wearing. Spotting an old dark blue polo, he donned it figuring it matched his mood. He grabbed his wallet and phone, walked out his bedroom and down the stairs hoping to god that no one would see him leave.

No body did.

He had no idea where he was going to go. All he knew was that he needed to escape this house, his _home_…


	2. XX

Seth lay in his bed looking up at the ceiling, his mind reeling. He didn't want to get out of bed, scared at how bad his hangover was. He should be used to the hangover though. In England he learned how to drink, and the only way to do that was experience and commitment. Those pint's are deadly, you lose control of how much you've had so easily. Next thing you know your being a hero downing the pint's like water to only find yourself with a nasty hangover, trying to remember anything from the night before praying to god u didn't make out with that scary hairy girl that was constantly waving at you.

Seth didn't get that drunk though. When he first left the house he went for a calming walk along the beach, but ended up getting frustrated and uncomfortable as certain thoughts never stopped circling through his mind, so he opted to drown his sorrows. He caught a cab from the beach to the bar, only returning home at around 4.

So here he was lying awake in his bed unable to fall back asleep. He turned his head to the side to check what time it was now. Only 9:30, and judging from only a slight pain from his head movement he didn't have that bad of a hangover. He had initially woken up at 7 and had been tossing and turning, trying to fall back to sleep. It was funny, while he was overseas he had imagined sleeping in his warm bed plenty of times, instead of the concrete slabs that the English called mattresses, but he couldn't get comfortable all night. Seth could appreciate irony, but at the moment he couldn't care less.

Giving up on trying to get more sleep, he decided to get up and see what the family was doing downstairs for breakfast. The sun was shining through his window which was still open from last night engulfing the room an inviting and comforting feeling which sort of lifted him. Placing a foreign smile on his lips, he got up from his bed taking a few steps before stilling himself. His mood plummeted along with the smile.

"Yeah didn't think the smile would last to long."

So maybe the hangover was worst then he initially thought. He went to the bathroom brushed his teeth, washed his mouth was just about to walk out to go downstairs before he realised he was wearing the same thing from last night. Thinking it was probably not to wise to go down in these clothes, and not wanting to arise and suspicion about his late night escapade he quickly changed and made way to the kitchen.

When he got there it was silent. The doors hadn't been opened, the blinds still not drawn which left the house tinged with a mellow orange that filtered through the said blinds. It felt kind of eerie.

"Huh, guess everyone's still asleep" he said to himself.

He opened up the blinds and the other stuff that was required to be per morning. Starting to feel dizzy from all the movement he beelined it to the fridge seeking out the orange juice. He grabbed the largest cup he could find pouring the juice in and sculling it within seconds.

Feeling slightly better from effects of the orange juice, he pulled out pans and some other necessary equipment, also grabbing the bread deciding that a bagel won't cut it as the hangover revitaliser. He decided on eggs and bacon and whatever other stiff he could get his hands on, thinking that cooking in a pan uses the same principles as a grill, so he should be all good.

He moved over to the fridge taking out the said bacon and eggs and some pancake mixture he found piling everything in his arms. He moved over to the bench trying to balance all the items then unceremoniously placing them down. He chucked some bacon in the pan, then opened up the egg carton taking out 2 egg only then realising he had broke four eggs when placing them down on the bench.

"Opps. Maybe I can make some extra for the family, give them a big 'it's Seth' breaksfast."

After congratulating himself on the marvellous idea, he started getting worried about his constant need to talk to himself, but brushed it off figuring he been doing for a while since he was back in England, and well it was better then thinking about certain petite person who caused perpetual pain. He sighed in relief, glad that he wouldn't have to deal with seeing her till later. He picked up the spatular moved over to the pan, busying himself with the preparation of breakfast, making any thoughts of Summer float away.

Summer strode past Sandy's Study room through the living room towards the kitchen. She heard some noises coming from the kitchen area and went to investigate. She gingerly walked through the kitchen entrance expecting to see Ryan or Hailey. Her eyes widened, mouth dropped, frozen still. It was Seth. She quickly moved out of the kitchen hiding behind the wall glad that Seth hadn't spotted her. What the hell was Seth doing awake now? He was always a fan of sleeping in.

She took a few moments to collect herself. Her mind was going crazy with thoughts, the same ones that went through her mind yesterday when she and Seth first met. She didn't know what to do.

She learned her head back against the wall taking a deep breath. "It's to early for this Shit." She sighed.

As much as she didn't want to go in there right now, she knew now was the best time. No one was around to witness anything and it seemed fitting. The kitchen seemed like the designated area for confrontations.

She turned around letting fate take its course, walking step by step to the kitchen bench, her heart pounding. Seth hadn't noticed her. She looked over to what he was so engrossed in. To her surprise he was cooking. And cooking a lot of stuff too. She mulled over what angle to take, but decided that there was no point. Just to go with the flow.

"Hey." She said timidly, cringing at the sight of his body turning rigid at the sound of her voice.

"Hi." He answered back in a stoic manner a few moments later.

Then silence.

Seth regained his composure, going back to his cooking. Summer though was feeling the pressure.

Deciding to let the elephant be, and defer fate she said, "So what you cooking?"

"Just some usual breakfast foods." His back was still directed to her with his voice employing the same stoic tune.

"You're cooking some eggs." Trying to get the convo moving.

"Yes. How very observant." He retorted sardonically.

She pursed he lips together. Well at least she got a rise out of him. Its better then emotionless front he had before.

"Ouuu. You got four there. You're a big boy now." She said condescendingly, never one for letting anyone get on top of her even if they had a reason.

"Actually, I was going to have two, but 4 broke when I set the carton down." Any remnants of a hangover disappeared as an old acquaintance in the pain department resurfaced.

She smiled amusedly. Such a Seth thing to do. "So what are you going to do with the extra 2 eggs." She hesitantly moved over to the coffee, pouring herself a cup, staying there leaning against the counter. "Cause if you have any leftovers, I wouldn't mind having it." She bit her lip and sighed. Somehow that sounded way better in her head.

Seth sensed her movement. "Actually I was planing on giving it to my family." Back to stoic.

"Ahh okay. Good idea." Feigning like it was, ignoring that he said family purposely to outs her. "You can make them like a special Seth breakfast." She shook her head from side to side after a moment, knowing he couldn't see her, _that's great summer_…

"Yea." He carried the pan to the bench, flicking the eggs out of the pan onto a plate that had some bacon and pancakes on it already. He picked up the plate along with a full glass of orange juice, and headed in the direction of his mum's room.

The whole conversation he hadn't looked at her once. Summer just sighed.

-

Seth knocked on his mother's bedroom door. Upon hearing a soft "come in" he opened the door to reveal his surprise.

"Ohh Seth. You shouldn't have." Kirsten gushed moving up into a sitting position.

"I know but yet I still wanted to." Seth replied, deeply gratified at seeing his mum smile and looking happy. He moved over to his dad's side of the bed. His gazed lingered there, where the covers where all messed up. Why where they messed he asked mentally.

His thoughts were ended at the sound of his mother's voice. "So what you got for me?"

"I got Eggs, bacon and pancakes." He placed the plate of her lap and the juice on her bedside table.

"Seth, next time please bring a tray."

Seth playfully scoffed. "I do all this, yet your still not satisfied. I will never get the mystery that is _women_."

Kirsten scrunched up her nose. "Seth sweetie, you got to know how to complete the whole thing. Only then can u reek the benefits."

"Well seeing you smile is benefit enough." Seth said earnestly.

Kirsten smiled again to him. "Well thankyou for this breakfast in bed. It's very sweet"

Seth laid down on the bed while his mother started with her meal. He had no real desire to go back to the kitchen anytime soon. He glanced over to the bedside table, his eye catching a book. Actually the name of the book caught his eye. The name of the book was _What's Right?_ He had never seen it before.

He turned to face his mother. "Mum what's that book there?"

Kirsten looked over before leaning her head back in realisation. "That was your father's book. God knows how long he has actually had it for. Ever since I can remember he has always carted it along."

Seth was intrigued. His dad was a strange man that was a known fact. "What's it about?" he figured it was probably some fascinating mind exploding read, that left you in awe with plenty of questions, expressions and some captivating prose like lines that you were suppose to incorporate into your life to discover _answers_…

"I actually don't know." She laughed for a moment, Seth was clueless why. "He never read it."

A laughed escaped as he moved up on his elbows. "What do you mean?"

"Well he never read it. He always said he wasn't sure if he wanted to. Who knows what he means by that."

Seth picked up the paperback. It was quite heavy, very thick. The pages were a golden brown colour, making it in Seth's eyes much more worthy of reading.

"Mind if I take it mum?" Seth questioned hesitantly, actually concerned that she might say no.

She faced him smiling. "Of cause sweetie."

-

Summer was sitting at the kitchen bench, clutching her mug of coffee in both hands, mulling over the conversation she just had with Seth while Ryan walked in.

"Morning." He said slowly sensing something was up. He poured himself some juice.

"Hey." Summer answered back softly, still caught in her thoughts.

"How long you been awake?"

"For a while. Couldn't sleep."

"Yea same. Had the worst sleep. Kept tossing and turning." Taking a sip of juice.

Summer was still looking at her coffee, answering with a distant. "Mmm."

Ryan glanced at her. "Okay, so I know you're not much of a morning person but there's something up. Talk"

Summer looked at him for a sec before returning her gaze back to the mug breathing out. "I woke up, did the usual routine," she paused clicking her tongue, "then strolled into the kitchen where Seth just happened to be."

"O." Ryan moved over, taking a seat in the chair next to Summer.

"Uh huh."

"And what happened then?" he questioned.

Summer leaned back placing her mug on the table. "Nothing he was cooking some bacon and stuff. I tried to make small talk, but he kept shutting me down."

Ryan just shrugged figuring it's a difficult situation. Seth was coming home for the worst possible reason, and to deal with this on top was definitely not fun. But all in all Ryan knew one thing.

Not to get involved.

"Well don't worry about it. Just give him some time and space. And just be there for him."

Summer regarded him in a strange manner. "_Okay_ _Ryan_." She said sardonically.

He got up from his seat moving to take out some cereal from the cupboard, then returned to his seat while saying, "Well I am just trying to help. Keep the peace around here. The last thing we need is a vibe of hostility floating around the house."

Summer still regarded him. "Okay. What's up with you." Ryan looked at her questioningly. " Your too…. normal."

He dug his hand in the cereal box grabbing a handful, shovelling it into his mouth. He didn't know why he felt being called normal an insult, but he did. "I'm not. Its just that I want things calm around here. With everything set for tomorrow, we just need to take care of shit." He looked at her earnestly, watching her face soften. "You get what I mean?"

Summer nodded glumly. "Yeah I get ya."

"How was Kirsten?" Taking another handful of cereal.

"Yeah she was alright. Well as can be expected. She was a bit restless and had some episodes, but she's mostly caught up in her thoughts."

Ryan reassuringly put a hand around her shoulder. "Don't worry its going to be okay. We will deal. Together." He kissed her on the cheek, then got up, starting to prepare his breakfast.

Ryan and summer had a close relationship. They were very involved in each others lives. He sort of thought of her as a younger sister. He always thought it would be cool having a younger sister, to take care and be defensive of and to give him endless and much needed advice on fashion and maybe a little with girls and other areas of his life. Summer though had destroyed this thought. Well not totally. He was well aware of, and increasingly more everyday, that she could be a pain. But what she lacked in that area she more then made up in others.

"So what's your plans for today?" Ryan asked.

"Well we were planning on going out for lunch, something European, maybe Italian or French. Then we were thinking spa and massage, something to relax, and be home for dinner."

"You live a hard life." He said raising an eyebrow.

"Its for Kirsten." She replied waving her hand defensively.

"Of cause." He counted blandly. "Whose the _we_ you are talking about anyway?"

"Me, Hailey and Kirsten. You are invited, but I don't think it's your thing. It's a girls hanging out doing girl things." She paused for a sec thinking. "Eww…Ryan Atwood sparing and waxing…" she snorted at the thought.

"Is Hailey even up yet?" He smeared a bagel with cream cheese passing it over to Summer.

"Not that I know of."

Ryan laughed. "God. She is crazy."

Summer broke off a piece of the bagel placing in her mouth. "She went to sleep really late. Talking on the phone."

"I wish her and Jace all the best." Shaking his head smiling. Taking a bite out of his bagel.

"Pshh, you commenting on other people's love life. The only relationship you can hold is you and your hand." She said smugly.

"What. It's not like you've had dates streaming in."

"That's cause I choose not too. I can call a bundle of guys up if I wanted to. But see there is a difference between me and you. You just can't seem to get a date, can you."

"I can if I want."

Summer fake nodded in understanding. "Sure you can buddy."

Not liking how he was getting dominated in the conversation he went for the cheap call. "Well all I got to say is _Seth_."

She looked at him for a moment raising her eyebrows. "All I got to say is Incest."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dating your Aunt." She fake shuddered. "How very Amish of you."

Yup definitely could be a pain.

Ryan 'ohhed' at her response. "That was harsh." Summer just shrugged. "And besides she's not my real Aunt and we didn't even know- "He shook his head in mild disbelief. "Why am I defending my self."

"Give me back my bagel." He reached out trying to retrieve it but Summer evaded his grasp

She shrugged taking a bite of her bagel. "Don't start what you can't finish."

"Actually you started." Ryan shot back sordidly.

She shrugged. "And I finished it."

He finished the last bites of his bagel before filling up a bowl of cereal and pouring the milk.

"So for tonight, dinner. I was thinking that maybe we could all get some takeaway and have dinner at home. Maybe some Thai, watch some movies, then hit the sac early." They always did this. Bickered for a moment, then just went back to their original conversation.

"Sounds like a good idea." She paused for sec turning to look at him. "And who the hell says hit the sac." She playfully winced. "Don't say that every again."

"Whatever." He replied uninterested. "And me and Hailey are going to hire the movies. You and definitely Seth are not choosing the movies."

"Whatever" Summer repeated his sentiment.

They sat there for a while enthused in their own actions before summer spoke.

"So….have you talked to Seth yet?" She said not even trying to act nonchalant knowing there was no point.

"Umm….yea I had a chat to him last night." Scratching the back of his neck. "Actually me and Hailey both talked to him when he was up in his room. After he saw Kirsten and…you."

"And…"

"And what?"

"Well, how was he, what did he say?" She asked incredulously.

"He was alright." He replied. She just looked at him. "He was sad, really worn out."

Summer was getting frustrated. Ryan wasn't a man of many words which kind of annoyed, since well she talked a lot.

"Well what did he say?" A bit of frustration sliding out through the words.

Ryan stood up taking his empty bowl to the sink. Summer's eyes following him. "Summer…"

"Ryan just….you know, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, it will be as if you just accidentally let it slip." Summer suggested standing up."

"Summer. No." Ryan replied keeping a strong front.

"Uhh, come on. Stop being such a boy scout." She said it as if she couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't tell.

"Seriously Summer, Seth would kill me if I told you." Ryan said staying resilient.

"Ryan, I'll kill you if you don't tell me." She said earnestly.

"Summer you can do whatever, but I'm still not going to tell you."

"Urgghh. Your such a bitch. No wonder you fit so well in Newport now." Summer stated distastefully.

"Thank you Summer." He said in a sweet mocking voice.

"Why don't you run off to your little boyfriend then." Mimicking his sweet mocking voice.

"I bet you wished you could call him that." He got scared and moved to the other side of the kitchen bench.

Summer was just about to through a bagel at him when Hailey trudged into the kitchen.

"Morning." Hailey appeased

"Morning." Ryan replied still keeping in mind where Summer was.

Summer seeing her opening for a come back said, "Hailey, Ryan was talking about you behind your back." She smiled proud of herself.

Hailey was at the coffee machine pouring herself a cup. "Honestly, the guys here are worst then the girls." She turned to look at Ryan. "Hmmm…no wonder you fit in so well here."

"I was not talking about you behind your back." Ryan defended.

"Yes you were." Summer accused, then turned to Hailey. "He was."

He narrowed his eyes at summer. "Hailey anything I got to say I would say to you."

"Puh-lease. Hails, you and I both know how much of a bitch he is."

Ryan scoffed. "Hailey you want to know what I said?" he said adamantly.

Hailey shrugged. "Actually I don't really care."

Ryan smiled happy with himself. "Huh" he said proudly.

Summer was already over it and shrugged nonchalantly.

"So Hails, we doing what we said we were going to do yesterday?" Taking a seat again.

Hailey grimaced. "Yeah." She bit her lip for a moment. "That's the best option. And Kirsten needs it….so yea we might as well."

Summer nodded. "K k. I called up Meredith yesterday and told her we were coming. So everything is taken care of." Meredith had become close acquaintances with Hailey and Summer. After all they did meet on a very regular basis. She knew exactly the routine the girls liked, which progressed from waxing, to messaging to sparing. Just riddle that with the copious amounts of gossiping and girl talk and you had an extremely rambunctious afternoon.

"Okay cool. And we should be home for dinner. Ohh, what are we gonna do about dinner." Looking from summer to Ryan.

"Well I was thinking that we have dinner at home all together, get takeaway, I vote for Thai, get some movies and watch them."

Summer quickly shot. "What else are you going to do with a movies Ryan." Ryan glared at her.

"Yeah that sounds good. Then have and early night." Hailey said either ignoring or not hearing Summer.

Summer looked at Hailey. "Speaking of night…" she bit her lip. "did you talk to Seth?" she said softly.

Ryan bowed his head shaking it from side to side.

"Yes I did in fact." She replied not hesitating, turning immediately into a gossiping girl pal.

Ryan let his head fall to the side and breathed out. Knowing it wasn't going to be long till certain details of their talk were regurgitated, he decided to make himself scarce. "Well you two enjoy spilling gossip about a private conversation. I'm going to go." He waited for their reply, but ended up walking out when he realised he wasn't going to get one.

-

Seth was sitting on the ground leaning against the bed in the pool house playing playstation, crash bandicoot or something. It was in the late afternoon around 7ish, the sun was setting in a serene blue which gave off a relaxing feel, allowing Seth to calmly play his game. He had a fairly uncomplicated day, and was very much wanting to complete this day in the same manner. But when he heard the _gaggle_ of women burst through the front door, their voices overlapping each others, he knew this was all going to dissolve.

But at least he was in the sanctuary of The Pool House, and hopefully they didn't need to make the trip out here to for some reason.

But of cause one of them had too.

Hailey came waltzing up the stairs, into the pool house. "Hey what you doing?"

Seth turned his head quickly to acknowledge her before returning his attention back to the game. "Hey. Nothing much, just catching up on some much needed restitution."

Hailey moved over taking a seat at the end of the bed. "What game are you playing?"

"Crash bandicoot." His attention fixated on the game.

She smiled shaking her head slightly. "Seth you're 20. And you're still playing playstation. And it's a cartoon game." She snorted at her last revelation.

"I told you. Its restitution."

"When are you going to grow up?" She teased.

"Later." He shrugged. "Besides you're like 50 and living in your sister's house."

"Hey!" She scolded. "My house is getting built. And plus I want to take care of her right now…" She trailed off seeing no point in finishing off the sentence. So she started a new one on a higher note. She swatted him on the back of the head. "And I am not 50. I am 29."

He paused the game for a moment rubbing the back of his head. "I'm sorry. Yea you're _only_ 29." Unpausing the game and returning his attention back to it after his head was comforted.

Hailey leaned back letting herself fall back on the bed, her body felt so airy and floaty. The massage and spa really worked wonders. "You were suppose to say …ummm," not really caring enough to come up with something, "something about how I still look hot and young enough to be your sister."

After hearing no response and suspecting an eye roll she said, "Well you can think of something better."

"Yes I can, so how about leaving it up to me next time."

She ignored his comment. "So where is Ryan? Me and him are suppose to pick up dinner and the movies."

"I don't know. He wasn't here when I got home."

She moved back up to a seating position slapping her hands on her knees. "Alrights. I better go get him." She stood up hesitating for a second looking at the screen of the game Seth was playing. "Okay, what animal is that." She cocked her head to the side as if it would show her a better picture. "It looks like a standing up hyena. Or like that Tasmanian devil thing."

"It's a _bandicoot_."

"Huh."

"You know, as in how the name of the game implies…Crash bandicoot."

"Huh." She repeated her sentiment. Seth jut shook his head from side to side.

As if on cue Ryan came strolling in.

"Hey" he said apathetically. Before he let himself fall onto the bed falling face first.

"Huh." Hailey repeated from her standing position.

"Hey man." Seth said. "What's up with you."

"Everything's been hectic. Today was bad ay." He said rolling onto his back.

"Actually I had a relaxing day." For once Seth kept things concise.

"And me and the girls had an easy day too. It was actually pretty chilled." Hailey said as she moved back over to the end of the bed taking her seat again.

"Huh" Ryan repeated Hailey's sentiment. "So was I the only one running around doing errands?"

"What errands?" Hailey questioned.

"Last minute things for tomorrow…and stuff for the Newport Group. Just to check up and stuff…"

Hailey solemnly nodded in understanding.

Seth immersed himself in the game again.

Ryan looked over at Seth and sighed.

"So Seth….What did you get up to today…?" Ryan said realising he hadn't seen him the whole day and wanting to get past the awkward moment.

"Ohh just relaxed. Went around, did the usual. Haven't been in Newport for ages to, so yeah…" Very blasé.

Hailey gave a deadpan look to Ryan before looking back at Seth. "Okay Seth, vague has never been your thing."

He paused the game breathing out. "I went down to the port and took the _summer breeze_ out for a spin for the afternoon. Just basked in the fresh air and all." He basically spat out summer breeze. "I think I'm going to rename my boat." He muttered as an after thought.

When hearing the coldness in Seth's tone, Hailey and Ryan shared a look of concern. Ryan raised his eyebrows and shrugged to Hailey. He moved to sit of the floor next to Seth. "Umm isn't it bad luck to rename a boat." Ryan questioned.

"Well if that guy I sold it to renamed it.." He shook his head at the memory of how pathetic he was, naming a boat after her. "so why cant I."

"But its bad luck." Hailey said very child like.

Seth shrugged. "I'm pretty low right now. It would be pretty hard to stoop lower."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Seth I would watch what you would say. You especially would know how irony sticks its ugly head in unwanted places."

Seth smiled at Ryan's sticky way of trying to introduce some humour.

So Seth decided to humour them. "Opps my bad. Lost a step since I been gone. So you know, a bit rusty."

"Yeah well, you got to get your game back. Nothing like a little humour to ease the air around here anyways." Hailey stated.

Ryan grumbled, rolling his neck. "You don't know what you just asked for. We will see what you think about his so called humour soon enough."

Seth carried on with his game unfazed. "Jealous much Ryan."

Ryan carried on as if he hadn't heard Seth. "Seriously Hails, you started an epidemic."

Hailey did a sought of concern laugh. Not knowing why, but it just came out, probably at Ryan being so extreme but also thinking he was right.

Seth laughed at his response. "Puh-lease…" Being too engrossed in the game he didn't finish off his response till he passed the hard part of the level. "If you won't be nice you won't be able to play me."

Ryan reached over grabbing a spare control. "Gimmie that. I'm master at this game now."

"Ryan you can't play now! We have to go pick up the food and movies" Hailey cut in.

"Dammit."

Seth laughed not taking his eyes of the screen. "Ohh poor Ryan. Still a softie for girls."

Ryan put the control down, then stood up. "Yeah I have to, or she won't let Jace come out for a drink with me and friends."

Seth paused the game immediately. Oh crap. He forgot to congratulate her on her engagement! He stood up instantly moving to hug Hailey. "Sorry it totally slipped my mind. But yeah, happy engagement." He released her from the hug wondering whether that is what you say to someone who has just become engaged? Happy engagement? It just didn't sound right. He felt like a total ass being so occupied with himself and forgetting something so important. So as per Seth, he kept on talking.

"Congratulations. I'm so happy for you." He said sincerely. "It's great that there are at least some people who are caught in the illusion of love." He hesitated, realising what he had said. He sighed then continuing when he had thought of something productive. "I can see he makes you happy."

Hailey just laughed. "You can see that….he makes me happy? Even though you have barely seen me since you came back." She said sceptically.

Seth nodded his head sincerely. "Yeah, you can see it. It's in your body action and your eyes."

"You can can you?" Rasing her eyebrow.

"Yeah." Still sincere. "You see, happiness is like pissing yourself, everybody can see it on you, but only you can feel its warmth."

Hailey and Ryan both cracked up laughing.

"Random." Hailey said shaking her head, still laughing slightly.

Seth shrugged smiling.

"Anyways…let's go get the food." Ryan suggested.

Hailey turned to Ryan. "Okay okay." She then turned back suddenly. "Ohh by the way, thank you for breakfast. That was really nice."

Seth gushed. "Well no worries. I was glad to actually. I'm not such a bad cook ay?"

"Yeah, not bad." Hailey said cocking her head to the side. "I was actually heaps surprised you woke up so early…you know from your late night expedition." Rasing an eyebrow.

Hmmm so maybe he wasn't so stealth after all. Lost a step in this as well. Seth bowed his head and pursed his lips together.

"Not so stealth after all hey buddy." Ryan declared saying Seth's thoughts out loud.

He looked at Ryan impassively. "Why thankyou Ryan." He deadpanned.

"So where you end up going last night." Hailey appeased questioningly.

Seth looked up thinking of what to say, more importantly how to say it. "I just needed some air, you know. Gather my thoughts."

Ryan nodded his head once in an affirmative manner. Seth didn't know what to make of it.

"Where abouts you go?" Hailey repeated the question slightly hoping to get an actual answer to it this time.

"I just went to the beach first..." Leading off he figured he might as well tell the truth. They won't judge. "Then went to a bar for a while before getting a taxi home."

Hailey bit her bottom lip for a moment. "Okay well as long as you didn't get yourself into any shit." Seth could see she was trying to tell whether he was telling the truth or not. "And you better not have gone down to the pier to get some coke."

Seth laughed. "Hailey even though I may deceive some people by looking the part, I am not a bad boy." He replied cheekily relieving any seriousness to the situation.

"Okay. Just checking on you." Smiling back. "Anyways lets be off then."

"Yup." Ryan agreed. "And thanks for breakfast Seth. You going to do the same tomorrow?"

"Actually I wouldn't mind. Yeah I will actually." He said earnestly before stalling. "Well, as long as it remains uneventful."

Hailey looked at him curiously. "Why what happen? You catch on fire or something?"

He scratched the back of his head for a second. "No, but thanks for the vote of confidence."

Ryan tried to get Hailey's attention to prevent the conversation from progressing into dangerous water. She ignored Ryan, looking at Seth expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"So I was cooking peacefully and all flipping the bacon and what not.." he drifted off clicking his tongue for a sec, "…when Satan's child comes strolling into our kitchen." Finishing off with an exasperated hand gesture.

Ryan tapped Hailey on the shoulder, but she swatted his hand away uninterested. She looked at Seth confused. "Satan's child?"

Seth rolled his head before spitting out. "_Summer."_

Hailey leaned her head back, realisation dawning on her. "O."

"Yeah." He said dryly. "Why the hell was she at our house so early?"

After not hearing a response he cocked his head looking over at Hailey expectantly, but she looked away. He then turned his head looking at Ryan. He just shrugged coolly.

Seth was just about to ask another question but was cut off by Hailey. "So, Seth we would love to chat, but we can't. We have to pick up the food and all that jazz, so we will catch you in about half and hour to forty minutes." She moved swiftly taking him in a hug before making her way toward the main house.

"Yeah see ya soon. Practice up on the playstation. I'm telling you, I'm master at it now."

Seth stood there looking at a retreating Ryan. "Wow, that was weird."

And that coming from Seth.

-

Seth walked into the kitchen from the pool house thirty seven minutes later. And yup he counted. He had been sitting on Ryan's bed cross legged for the whole time constantly switching the channel. Absolutely nothing was on. He turned the TV off and started counting.

After thirty seven minutes a thought drifted through his mind. Why not spend some time with his mother.

A simple thought.

No wonder it took him thirty seven minutes.

So here he was in the kitchen head deep in the fridge reaching for a mountain dew for himself and bottle of water for his dearest mother. He started making his way to her bedroom when Ryan and Hailey came jostling through the front door.

"Hey. Nice timing." Seth stated.

"Always." Hailey proclaimed making her way to the kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" Ryan questioned following Hailey.

"I got no idea. I was just going to go find mum." Seth trailed after them.

"Good you guys are back. I'm starting to feel hungry." Came Kirsten's voice from the living room.

"Huh. I sware she wasn't there a minute ago." Seth said surprised.

He made his way into the living room seeking to commence his simple thought of spending some time with his mother. This quest though was ruined as his eyes landed on Summer. She was occupying _his_ seat next to his mother, they both sharing a blanket, looking to comfortable for…well, comfort.

"Great." He breathed through his clenched jaw. He moved over taking a seat on a different couch from them.

"Hey sweetie." Kirsten said affectionately.

"Hi." Summer said in a reserved fashion, her body language mirroring her voice.

"What you get up to today." Kirsten question.

Not really wanting to get into it and give Summer any satisfaction of mentioning the boat he named after her, he went with vague, again. "Just went around, caught up on all the Newporty stuff I have unfortunately missed out on during my hiatus."

She smiled "That's nice."

"You have a good day?" He thought he might as well go with it, at least she was smiling.

"Yeah. It was nice."

"Good." A moment of awkward silence passed by. "What are you watching?" He took victory in saying 'you' meaning he was only talking to his mum.

"I don't know. Something about these people on an island."

"Lost…" Summer had to fill in, of course. "….we are watching Lost repeats."

"Ahh, great." Seth said dryly.

Kirsten not having _it,_ continued. "It's pretty interesting, it's like a book I read back when I was in school. Uhh what was it called… 'Lord of the flies.' That's the one." She completed with a hand gesture.

Before Seth had a chance to speak Summer cut in. "Eww!" Summer leaned away in disgust. "Isn't that the book where the kids cut off a pig's head?"

"Yeah." Kirsten laughed at her response. "I wonder why they haven't done anything like that on this show. I mean it's bound to happen. People's mind's start to drift…"

Seth raised a curious eyebrow at his mum. "Okay then.."

Summer moved back into her original position narrowing her eyes. "I wonder how people would taste."

"Probably like chicken." Seth mumbled. They didn't hear him.

Kirsten also seemed to be thinking of this too. "I wonder how they would cook them."

Summer put her hand on Kirsten's shoulder eagerly. "Yuk!" She did a weird head movement showing her revulsion. "They probably spit roast them."

Seth just looked on mildly disgusted at the topic, but mostly concerned at the conversation between Summer and his mum, and how they were conversating.

"They don't have to cannibalise. They have fish and other animals on the island." Seth commented trying to get back in the conversation, but they didn't hear him.

Kirsten did a face thing that almost mirrored Summer's. "But that wouldn't cook them properly. Some parts would be all tender, but others raw. And I mean who wants to eat raw people." The two girls nodded in unison as if saying good point.

"Mum you can't cook, let alone have a clue how to cook bush style." Seth jutted in.

Kirsten's shrug was the only response he got.

Summer continued as if Seth hadn't talked. "Yea good point. Well maybe…" She shook her head from side to side in a cute way. "Actually nahh."

Kirsten moved her legs around so she could cross them on the couch, rearranging the blanket so it was still evenly draped over the laps of her and Summer. "How would they choose who to eat?" Kirsten cheeped out.

"Well I guess they would eat the loser people first. Like the whiny ones and the lazy one." Summer suggested with a head nod.

Seth saw an opening and took it. "Well I guess Summer would be first to go." But before he could even finish his first word his mum cut him off.

"How could you eat a person you have known? You must have really disliked them, or they must have really pissed you off."

Seth saw another opening, and after getting over the fact that his mum just said _pissed off _he jumped in, speaking slightly louder this time. "I think I could." He said cordially keeping his gaze fixed on the television.

Summer raised an unamused eyebrow. "Really Cohen." She said dryly. She looked at Kirsten for a second before altering her look to a glare. "And who would that be."

Seth held it back not wanting to cause trouble, well just not wanting to cause trouble in front of his mum.

"Hmm." She said patronizingly, trying to urge him on. "Me?" she suggested with a pointed look.

He didn't want too.

But he had too.

"Well I don't think you would be a good choice…" he shrugged arrogantly. "I don't think your middle would be able to be thawed." He finished conceitedly.

Summer glared at him rolling her tongue across the back of her molars. "Well I don't think anyone would be eating you. You would taste a bit, bitter." She replied coolly with a swirl of icy bite.

Seth took a moment to think of a comeback, but took too long as the growing uncomfortable silence made Kirsten speak up. "So, ummm where is that food." She said nervously, before shouting towards the kitchen. "Hailey, you ready to bring out the food."

Just at that moment Ryan and Hailey came walking in carrying a heap of those takeaway containers on a trey. Sensing the turbulent air of the room, she got to handing out the takeaway containers to everyone. While Ryan took a seat next to Summer, Hailey went to retrieve the DVD's from the kitchen walking back, to stand in front of the television, movie cases clad in hand.

"So we were thinking of what type of movies to get, and naturally we went with comedy. Now first we have _Click_." She held up the movie to display it too all. "Next we have _Fun with Dick and Jane_." Displaying the next movie. "So which one first?"

Summer and Seth both just mumbled something along the lines of great choices and cool movies. Ryan just Shrugged. Kirsten commented on not liking the second movie because the name was not very becoming.

Hailey leaned on her left foot, hands out in a displeased manner. "Okay Click it is."

She put the movie in the DVD player, grabbing the controls in one hand and a takeaway container in the other plopping down on the seat next to Seth.

She pressed play and not another word was said.

A couple of hours later and they were still lounged around watching the television, the second movie. Empty takeaway containers littered everywhere, all the other lights had been turned off, which left a light glow from the moon that bounced off the tiles from outside the only light along with the flickering of the television. Ryan glanced around the room tiredly. The day definitely had worn him out. The last time he glanced around the room to check on everyone was about three quarters through Click. And there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Well apart from him and Seth. But he could see that Seth was showing real commitment to not letting any tears appear visibly to anyone, the big softy.

When he and Hailey chose this movie they had thought cool, and funny family movie we can unwind to. They had no idea that this was probably the worst movie to chose, especially seeing as what they as a family are going through.

So yeah, maybe people how have no idea about movies shouldn't to aloud to chose. Cause then this happens.

Immediately after Click finished he rushed to the DVD smiling saying, "Okay then, why don't we just get right to the next movie." He started the next movie, returned back to his seat, watching the girls wipe their eyes, changing positions to get more comfy.

So this time when he looked around the room he saw everyone in their own world. It was barely 10 minutes into this movie and wondered if anyone was actually watching it.

He glanced at Summer, her knees held up close to her chest. Her mind definitely else where. Her head leaned back resting against the couch.

Kirsten was curled up, her eyes shut. The blanket tightly wrapped around her.

Seth was stretched out, his feet on the coffee table, his head propped up by his hand. His mind god knows where, as he mumbled something. "Bitter at the start, but sweet at the end. Dammit why didn't I think of that?"

Hailey was tapping her knee, her head resting against the corner of the sofa.

He contemplated asking if everyone wanted to go to sleep but thought better of it. Kirsten shuffled for a moment before removing the blanket, walking out without a word.

Ten minuets later Hailey got up and wordlessly left.

Seth five minutes after that.

Summer a few moments after.

Ryan sighed, moved over to where the remotes where, turning off the television, flooding the house in an empty, hollow aura.

-

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-

I was sitting up in bed. It was about 5 in the morning and was still dark. A dull glow from my bed side lamp was the only light in the room. I was feeling like shit. My eyes were red, my head aching, body heavy and lethargic. And all I wanted to do was sleep. But I couldn't. No matter how sleepy I was I just couldn't fall. And it was starting to aggravate me, _a lot_.

First I had tried to read a comic. An old one, one I wouldn't be able to remember ever reading in the first place. But my mind had other thoughts. I just couldn't push them aside and concentrate. My mind kept getting side tracked… I ended up throwing the comic across the room in frustration.

Secondly I thought that washing my face, and getting something to eat would do some good. That was until I tried to get up and found myself sapped of all energy. My mind was telling my arms to push me up but the connection somewhere between my brain and arms was severed. Like a paraplegic.

And so I just lay there, in bed. My frustration and aggravation sinuously building, growing, intensifying. Being fuelled from everything going on.

Especially Summer.

We had had somewhat of a conversation with one another. But it was restrained.

Comments were guarded, thoughts not.

We both knew this. Both itching to let it all out, but for some reason we were delaying the confrontation. Time wasn't right I guess. I could see she was waiting for me to initiate it. She wasn't running from it though, like she knew she had to go through with it. Like there was no choice. I don't know what's up with that, but if that's the case, then why can't she be intrepid enough to endure what she caused.

I guess you wouldn't turn yourself in to the police after you have committed a crime.

But for now, the time wasn't right. At yesterday's breakfast I was startled, and I was concentrating on getting out of there as soon as possible. And for the later half pseudo conversation, well mum was there, and I really didn't want to cause more trouble.

I clenched my jaw as I remembered the way Summer had spoken with mum. Their whole interaction. Their body language, the way they talked to each other, sharing a blanket and all….it was too natural for my liking. How could they act so…so… I found myself tightening my hands in the bed sheets and took the opportunity to hoist myself up before the peculiar jello arms resurfaced.

And so here I am, sitting in bed wide awake, mind going crazy with thoughts. But the most domineering of thoughts was of how drastically my life has changed. How just a few days ago I was in England studying at one of the most prestige's University's in the world on a once in a life time opportunity. And now being back in Newport, back at the place I have been yearning to leave and stay left from the day I got here.

I can't help to think back to how I achieved that great offer.

The choices that I made that lead me to all these changes. The conflicts and problems produced by all these choices, and just like that my mind circles and ends up back with Summer.

God this sucks. And at this moment I have to say I _hate_ her.

Strong word, I know.

There were some strong feelings.

I sat up in bed leaning my head against the wall and came to a resolution. It may be 5am and I may have got about 2 hours sleep but fuck it. I need to get up and stop dwelling on stuff. It's only going to get me down. I need to get something to eat or do something. I'm probably going to be dopey and look like shit today but meh, I've got reason.

20 minutes later I'm back in room. Bored and not having a clue what to do. How the fuck did I survive this place before? Can't play playstation, cause Ryan still sleeping. Can't go out to shops and buy comics. Can't watch a movie, cause it will probably wake someone, and then we will have to _talk_. I'd rather not. I looked around the room trying to find anything that can spark some enthusiasm. And at the far right of my desk under a pile of paper's and other rubbish my eyes catch onto large black dusty old treasure.

My sketch book.

My eyes instinctively light up as I felt that sound exuberance flutter through my body. I picked it up dusting it off slightly.

"Ohh I've missed you."

I walked over to my bed, taking a seat on the side. I opened the pages and flicked through them, scanning each and every detail. It felt weird knowing that I had done these. I had produced these things. Each picture telling its own story. I had to laugh at the fond memory's. I can remember the whole reasoning to each picture. Why Summer was dressed one of her weird vintagedresses, yet her face being the most capturing part of the picture. Why Mum and Dad where sitting across a room yet sharing a knowing glance. Why me and Summer where in two different conversations involving two separate groups of people, standing about 1 and a half metres a part, yet she was still holding onto two of my fingers.

Flicking through the last few pictures, I scratched behind me ear, knowing what I was going to do for the next few hours. At least I knew what I had in store for those few.

After those few hours I found myself malting in the bath. It was sooo relaxing and I actually fell asleep. There were these scented candles and lavender bubble bath mixture which enveloped the bathroom making it feel like I was in the Caribbean or something equally as exotic.

As I promised I made breakfast for everyone. It was around 9 after I had contained myself to my room enthusiastically drawing. It was pretty cool actually. A throw back to old times, and well, you know how much I loved those times.

Everyone was asleep when I made breakfast, so I peacefully ate by myself. I left everything covered on the stove to keep it warm. They should be wake and have eaten it by now.

So here I was, reluctantly getting out of the bubble bath drying myself getting ready for a day that will be with me for the rest of my life. Out of the shower I walked, gazing around before voices caught my attention. I heard the familiar voices of Hailey and Ryan but then I heard another. One I hadn't heard in long time. I bit my bottom lip and nodded my head.

"Hmm…so your here."

I continued to my room quickly dressing, checking myself in the mirror constantly shifting my shirt, checking on the hem of my pants. Now I think I am starting to get a picture of how it is for girls. I sighed once again. I was really starting to dread this. My mood from the bubble bath was sailing in a clear descent. I didn't really care how I looked. As long as I didn't look totally scrubby I was fine. I checked my myself once more in the mirror. Yup, I am really starting to dread this, and it's growing exponentionally.

I went to the bathroom for one last check. I did my hair, it only takes a sec. Surprising yea? I then made my way down the stairs to the kitchen. I stopped at the bottom, letting the familiar welcoming voices float over me. Ryan was there, Hailey…and Summer…

She is everywhere.

I turned right from the bottom of the stairs and walked stealthily to the end of the walk way that leads to the family room. I stood there leaning against wall.

They were all thick in conversation, talking normally as if they weren't going to be wiping tears from their eyes in a few hours. As if they weren't going to be racked with grief and sorrow for the rest of the day, week.

_Fuck today is going to be hard. But I'm going to do this. I can get through this. And I will._

The only thing I am concerned about is this. If everyone has someone. It's plain stupid to think you can deal by yourself. You need someone.

Just for the company.

You don't have to talk, you don't have to touch, you just need their presence.

I am fine by myself. I have learned how to deal solo. Whether I was successful, well, that's another story.

I bite on my bottom lip. Fuck. I _really_ don't want to do this alone though…

"Hey Seth." A beaming young child stood directly in front of me.

I squinted for a moment trying to remember the boy's name. "Ohh, hey Joshua." I whispered back.

The boy regarded me for a second sensing something was up. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, I'm just hanging out. You know, gathering myself." How did he find me? What's up with my stealth lately?

"How do you gather yourself?"

"Ssshhh, we don't want to disturb anyone." He nodded back in understanding, moving over to my side to be more discreet. "Um, gathering myself. Well I breathe in and out, cycle through thoughts, and that's basically all.

"Ohh okay. Cool. So are you coming into the kitchen? Or are you going to continue to gather yourself?" The way he said it, so earnestly like it was so important, I couldn't stop the escape of a tiny laugh at how weird it sounded.

Huh I laughed…

"Well, I think I'm going to hang out here for a while."

"Okays."

I slid down the wall into a sitting position resting my arms on my knees as Josh started to make his way into the kitchen.

"Wait Joshua." He stopped instantly turning around. "Can you do me a favour please." He nodded obediently. "Can you not tell anyone that I am here, or that you saw me at all?"

He nodded again. He put his hand up to signal a high five. I happily complied.

I sat there for a few moments trying to gather my thoughts till it happened. Again. Just like on my first night back. My mind starts swirling, the emotions swimming vicariously throughout my body. I lean my head back.

I sigh deeply. Frustrated. Especially at how easy is it, how vulnerable I am. I know the cure but am so reluctant to use it.

And I come to a conclusion. This will be the second and last time I am resorting to this. I get up and start making my way back up stairs to my room.

I sigh once again while trudging my way back to my room. _Look what you're doing to me Summer._

A couple minutes later and I am back down stairs walking in to the kitchen looking relaxed and unfazed.

"Hey people." I said comfortably stopping at the kitchen bench.

"Morning." Hailey said. I looked over seeing her seated at the eating table. Summer was seated next to her but I was careful to not make eye contact.

"Hey man." Ryan said taking a seat at the kitchen bench.

I acknowledged Ryan with a nod. "Where is mum?"

"Uh, I'm not sure."

An awkward silence then enveloped us. I just waited it out not want to be the centre of attention, as per usual.

The silence lingered for a while before Hailey had enough. "So..." She pursued her lips together trying to figure out something to say. She raised her eyebrows turning her head to face me once she thought of something. "Thanks for breakfast. It was really good."

I shrugged modestly. "Well I had to learn to cook when I was away. Hopefully that was accomplished."

"Well I think it was very much accomplished. In fact I think you should do this every morning."

I looked at her sceptically for a moment. "Thank you again, on that first part."

"Yeah thanks for breakkie again man." Ryan said calmly.

"Thank you Seth. It was very nice." Summer hastily got in. I looked over at her before thinking, but her head was dipped, I think reading something.

There was another awkward silence.

Damn, where is Joshua when you need him.

"So what about the second part." Hailey proclaimed once again annoyed from the silence.

It took me a moment to figure what she was talking about.

I looked at her blandly. "Just like you Hailey." I playfully let an over exaggerated breath free while shaking my head. "I do something nice and you just want to take advantage of it." I sighed menacingly.

"Yup. Just with the taking." Ryan jumped in, turning around to face her.

I looked at Ryan giving him a little nod. "That's right huh Ryan." Again with the exaggerated. "That's how she is." Adding a nod to complete it.

"We should just call that a Hailey from now on." Ryan added.

I looked at him trying to figure out what he was on about, but decided to just go with it. Ryan still wasn't too good with this stuff.

Hailey looked at us mildly bewildered but more unpleased. "What are you idiots talking about. Are guys are on drugs. Seth I thought you told me weren't on coke."

I pretended to not here the last part. "Yeah that would be right. She's lost too. Doesn't have a clue." I turned to Ryan feigning the gossiping guy. "She's a tad slow. All the drugs from Europe etc. She's been around the block, you know how it is. That's why she is asking us if were on drugs. Its cause she wants them." I dipped my head doing the disappointed head shake.

I glanced up after a moment to see her reaction. Yes!

She looked over at summer saying, "What's with people saying that today." Summer just smiled coyly, her head dipped.

Hailey sat up straight returning her glance back at me. "Well Seth, I would –

"La-la la-la laaaa." Came the voice of Joshua as he came trotting into the kitchen causing Hailey to immediately stop what she was going to say.

"Hey buddy." I leaned down to pick him up, placing him on the kitchen bench.

"Allo, Seth."

"What's up?"

"I didn't tell anyone." He proclaimed proudly.

"Ohh really? Cool. Thankyou very much. And remember you still can't tell anyone. Its our little secret." He nodded again obediently.

At that moment came Marissa strutting into the kitchen. "Hey everyone the cars are here." She said softly before noticing me.

I moved over taking her in a big hug. "I'm sorry Seth." She said in a sincere tone. I lean back from the hug looking her over. She looks the exact same.

"Its good to see you." It is. She has a welcoming and warm persona. She is easy to talk to always trying to make things comfortable. Once she got over her little troublesome phase, she and I became friends. Remember that time I went to her for help years ago when I came back from Portland and Summer was with Zach, how I met up with her at her house. That's the type of friendship we had. It's pretty cool. I'm glad she is back.

Mum now came walking into the kitchen, and yeah, not looking to good. But you could tell she was okay to some degree.

Seeing her like that, the impact it has on me, yeah … my mood plummeted.

"So uh guys, the two cars are here. They're waiting outside."

Seeing me, she came over to me and engulfed me in a wordless hug.

"So, is everyone ready to go?" She asked looking over at everyone.

Everyone answered back some form of "yeah."

"So what's the seating arrangements. Who goes in which car?" Hailey inquired.

"Well, I don't think it really matters." Kirsten replied.

"How about us guys go in one and you girls go in the other?" Ryan suggested.

"Uh, why? You guys worried we will bother you." She looked expectantly at Ryan. "Well we have a reason. You guys should be taking care of us, not isolating us, leaving us by our selves."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "It just seemed logical to me. That's all."

"We're waffles." Silence. "We stick together."

Mum just looked at me mystified. Hailey let out a chuckle and I heard the distinct sound of a melody that hadn't graced my ears in years.

I looked over at Summer, watching her laugh. She wasn't returning my glance for which I was grateful for. My gaze lingered on her. After dreaming about that smile, that laugh, for so many years, I guess there are just some things you can't hate. They're just too beautiful.

My thoughts were interrupted as Mum told everyone to get going. Me, Joshua and Ryan trailed after the girls, locking up the house and getting into our car.

-

The ceremony was a blur. A whisper of haze in my memory. I don't know why, but I agree with how it went. Just something to surpass, get over. I will say good bye in my own way when I feel it necessary. But the event was not without wavering feelings and emotions displayed.

I took my seat wriggling to find a comfortable position, placing my hands on my lap. I look around gazing at the people, half of whom I don't even know. My glance lands on mum, Hailey then Summer. She had been looking at me, watching what I was doing before my glance fell on her. She gave me a small comforting smile before I let my eyes search other areas.

A person in some unusual clothing, robes, went up to the podium and started a speech. I drifted off….

I came too when Hailey went to the podium. Gathering herself, tucking hair behind her ear, she started with a speech. It was a nice speech. Very Hailey esque. Laid back, truthful and warm.

I liked it.

Sooner then I wanted, her speech finished, which meant it was time for me to give mine. I walked up in attempted composure, which was so forged I just dropped the whole act before I got to the podium. I took a breath pulling out the post it from my pocket.

I prefer speeches to be spontaneous and natural. It gives a much more heart felt nature to it. I only jotted down a few points in case I got stumped.

I cleared my voice, closing my eyes for a moment taking a deep breath. I stumbled, trying to think of a poignant way to start before arriving a setting off.

"My buddy."

"My friend."

"My hero."

"My dad…"

And the rest flowed on.

-

It was deathly silent when I finished. My eyes were glued to the back of the temple. I waited a sec, stealing the moment to encase in my memory. I didn't dare look at my mum. Moving from the podium I kept my eyes on the floor, slowly trudging back to my seat. The squeaking noise that arose from my foot steps on the wooden floor boards resonated throughout, encumber me even further.

The robed man took place at the podium once more, continuing proceedings.

-

And then it was time. The last time I would see my dad every again. The realisation of that thought hit me hard. I didn't even have time to process the thought before I found myself in the origins of a panic attack. I hadn't really thought about it that much. My mind had been else where. It had been for the last couple of years. As my memory tip-toed over images and incidents, both good and bad, reminiscing forgotten weight, my body started to ease from the panic attack. I didn't realise at the time, but it did.

Then everyone stood up and motions made way. I swallowed, finally making my way. My glance fell on him. And stuff started.

My throat constricted, my head felt light. I tried to swallow, but it felt like there was a plug lodged at the bottom of my throat. I sobbed out loudly. I was starting to breakdown. A single tear escaped, gliding down my cheek. I didn't even think about wiping it away. I was just starting to feel dizzy, thinking I might pass out when I felt a small soft warm hand slide into mine, grabbing on tightly. By nature I knew straight away whose hand it belonged too. I turned my head to see summer standing next to me facing my father. She looked sombre and her eyes were slightly wet.

I realised I was still holding her hand, so I wryly started to remove it from her grasp. I somehow managed a sob while doing so, and another tear escaped. My hand was almost free from her when another sob escaped.

She looked up at me. In a weird mixture of stern and sorrow, that only summer can pull off she said, "Cohen, stop being a hero."

She took hold of my hand again. I let her. My hand was limp, even though she was holding on safely.

I couldn't do this alone. After all that has happened to me in the last few years, I hadn't learned a thing. Still trying to do the exact same as before. Coming to terms with it wasn't my problem. Acting on them was.

It seemed like I could squander any self pain. It is a trained quality from youth. Growing up in Newport will do that to a kid.

But for now I _knew_ I can't do this alone. I _need_ her. But at least I could take solace in something. That I did not _want_ her help. It was not my choice. I still had that. And that was one thing she could not steal from me.

But my mind turbulently falls from one direction to another knowing that satisfaction is never met on this account. And I come to a conclusion based on this – Needing her isn't any better…

So my conclusion? Fuck it, it's just for now. Just for this one thing now. Only now. I just need her for now.

Yeah… those sound like famous last words.

And so here I am clutching her hand tightly now, biting my bottom lip as tears flood my eyes. I say my final good bye, then turn around and start walking out the temple. I wipe away the stray tears with the back of my left hand, as my right grasps even tighter onto Summer's. I can feel the warmth of her body as she walks achingly close to me, and I relax. I take a breath.

Its over.

-

When we got home it was eerie. Everyone was mixed up in their thoughts. It was very quite, with Hailey and Ryan going to get Coffee, Summer went off to my parents bedroom, Josh trampled on to the family room taking a seat on the ground square in the middle, and mum went outside sitting lonesomely by the pool. I couldn't be stuffed moving so I sat on the closest sofa available from when I walked through the door.

We were just taking a break, a breather. The caterers would be here soon, and then we have play our parts…

And it's just past midday.

It's been a weighty morning with plenty travelling through my mind.

So these are my thoughts. Pretty messed up huh. Thoughts flying through, coming in one direction and leaving in tangents. Nothing going straight, nothing clear, everything questioned, and everything revolving around her.

Not much made sense?

Yeah for me either…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I walked through the Cohen living room, my nose catching a delicious scent that arose from the direction of the kitchen.

I walked in to discover breakfast made. All sorts for things were made, different types of pancakes, eggs, sausages etc. It was something bright in an otherwise certain gloomy day.

It was kinda random finding breakfast made for the house, but no one was even awake, well it seemed like no one was awake. It's like there was a breakfast fairy who made it, then disappeared.

I took a seat after getting a cup of coffee. I sat there picking at some random food thinking about the past week and the weeks to come.

So Seth and I had finally held a conversation. Yea it was really fun…

It was bad. Real bad. He didn't even look at me. I take a moment as an involuntary sigh escaped.

I know this may sound weird, but it looked like he had sorta sealed the box on me. Like he had come to some sort of conclusion that to him, I no longer exist. That I mean absolutely nothing, I was just a loose bit of string that needed to be cut off. I was weighing him down.

I know we ended things on a bad note, really bad note, but… - I don't know. Whatever happens happens. I guess I probably deserve it.

I shake my head cringing at how immaturely I acted, how childish and most of all how unfairly. God, it was so unfair to him what I did. And the whole time we knew it, we just didn't acknowledge it. Our communication eroded, finally ceasing.

And now we are going to have to talk. Have _the_ talk.

And there is no way I am initiating it. Stuff that.

Would you turn yourself in to the police after you've robbed a jewellery store?

But ill wait, he can start it. I can practically picture it, with him giving me a sign, we would both know. The sign would be a small reserved gesture. No words needed. Then it would be on.

I was still snacking on some food when Hailey came in.

"Morning." Hailey blandly said.

"Mmm." I mumbled back.

"You ready for today?" She reached in the fridge taking out the orange juice filling a glass.

"Nopes."

"Yeah, me either." She placed the juice back in the fridge.

"How can you be ready for a day like this?"

"You can't. You just gotta wing it. Deal with it how it comes. Be there for the ones you love." She moved over taking a seat next to me at the table. "That's what I've learnt from my last two experiences."

"Wing it." I smiled sadly at her. "Really, some great advice." It was hollow and I'm not even sure why I said it.

Hailey raised an eyebrow, but her voice was still sympathetic. "Sweetie, don't shoot down what's free."

I raised an eyebrow in return. "There's a reason why it's free."

Hailey just shrugged. "Its advice. Don't as you want with it."

I leant back in my chair crossing my legs. "I know. I'm sorry. I asked for your advice and thank you for it." My eyes searched over the table cloth. "So today, it's going to be quite long."

Hailey picked at a few breakfast selections before taking a few, stacking them on her plate.

"Yup. Another chapter in our lives."

"This may sound insensitive, but I'm hoping to get this day over with, finish this chapter."

"Nah, it's okay. I get you." She took a bite from a pancake. "But I think this may take more then one chapter. It's looking kinda long. Can't fit everything in."

"Greeeeat."

Hailey looked over at me, her chewing slowing. "Something tells me this is more then just the preceding soon to come."

I looked at her blankly. "Whatever."

She let out a tiny chuckle. It was a little huff of breath that was whisked with arrogance.

I raised my eyebrow at her unpleased, knowing what she was going on about. But I was just too frustrated to snark at her. "Arghh." I looked back at the patronizing table clothe trying to find the right words. "You know when you're really frustrated, you just want to scream? Like climb onto a rooftop and - "

"Scream your heart out?"

I looked at her again, a slight smile on my lips. "Yea. That."

"Uh huh. I know what you mean." She said smoothly. "Been there done that."

I laughed. "Really? Where?" Doing something like that was always something you imagined, but never really attempted to do. You had the 2 minutes of escaping what you were doing and revelling in how it would feel. I always thought it was thinking how it would feel that would calm you down.

Who actually goes and tries it?

"I actually can't remember where exactly, but it was somewhere in Italy." Her face contorted in concentration. "We got stuck on the roof of this shop, and ended up sleeping the night there."

"We were very frustrated." Hailey added as an afterthought.

I laughed slightly at her random story. "Hail's. Drugs are bad."

Her unadorned glance made me smile menacingly at her.

Marissa came walking into the kitchen. "Hey peeps." She moved over taking a seat at the table, her eyes surveying the selection of food. "Wow what's all this?"

"It is something called breakfast." I said condescendingly, before shaking my head and laughing at how stupid I am.

"Thankyou Sum." Marissa replied, returning my condescending tone with a playful slap to the shoulder.

Hailey laughed. "She's being weird this morning." Pretending to whisper to Marissa as if I wouldn't be able to hear her.

"She's been weird these last couple of days." Marissa added.

I got huffy and waited a moment till I could see Hailey was going to say something so I could interject. "La La La La… I'm right here." Yes! Good timing.

But Hailey just waited a few secs before continuing with what she was going to say. "I thinks it's because of a certain some -"

"- La La La La." I interrupted again."

"Someone-." She shot in.

"Laaaa."

"Just-"

"Laa."

"Came."

"Laaa."

"Back."

"Laaaa Laaa. I hate you all."

"Peculiar one this one." Hailey stated.

"Whateva. I still hate you all." Upon hearing the unmistakeable sound of Joshua entering I said. "My little Josh is the only one I like. We are best friends and I don't need you guys."

Hailey shrugged amusedly while Marissa rolled her eyes in the same amused fashion.

"Isn't that right Josh." He came bouncing in, coming straight to me. I lifted him onto my lap, setting him down in a comfortable position.

He smiled gleefully. "I have a secret." He announced.

"Ohh cool. Tell me. Cause you know, since we are best buddies and all." I said smiling obnoxiously at both Hailey and Marissa.

But Josh simply replied back. "Nopes. Cant." Before leaping off me to run away, disappearing into the vast amounts of space this mansion contained.

"Cool best friend you got there." Marrisa said in fake Ernest.

I shrugged indifferently shoving a muffin in my mouth.

A nice calming silence arose, and I wished it lasted for the rest of the day.

"So….everyone all ready to leave soonish?" Ryan came quietly into the kitchen. None of us even realised he was there till he spoke up.

We all looked at him strangely, Hailey gave him a pffh to go with the look.

"What are you pffhing about." Ryan now returning our strange glance.

Hailey just blatantly said. "You're a weirdo."

Marissa continued after Hailey. "Who sneaks up on a group of girls like that at a time like this."

Ryan shrugged not caring a single bit at what was just said. "Where is Seth and Kirsten?"

"Haven't seen Seth this morning, but seeing as though there is a banquet on the table," waving a hand demonstratively at the food, "I think its safe to say that he is awake." Hailey reported.

"Kirsten was still getting ready when I saw her just before." Marissa said gently. "I'll go check on her." She walked out of the kitchen in the direction the room.

We fell into some harmless chitter chatter before Seth came strutting into the kitchen, looking a little too relaxed for my liking. I don't know why I thought that, but I just did. And it seemed effortless, like he was naturally relaxed, breathing normally.

I laid low out of the conversations, just not wanting attention. I payed attention to what was being said though, snickering when the boys made fun of Hailey. I should have backed her up, but then I would lose that path to use on Hailey. So I let it slide.

As conversation continued Marissa made her way back in to the kitchen. I watched her and Seth's interaction, and how they hugged. Like they were good friends. So comfortable with each other. Their communication, and body language.

I wished that I could hug and comfort Seth.

Shortly after Marissa came in Kirsten followed. Seth's composure vanished along with her arrival.

More conversation continued, discussing the protocol of people in funeral cars.

"So what's the seating arrangements. Who goes in which car?" Hailey inquired.

"Well, I don't think it really matters." Kirsten replied.

"How about us guys go in one and you girls go in the other?" Ryan suggested.

"Uh, why? You guys worried we will bother you." She looked expectantly at Ryan. "Well we have a reason. You guys should be taking care of us, not isolating us, leaving us by our selves."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "It just seemed logical to me. That's all." He shrugged

And then of course Seth had to put in his two cents. "We're waffles." Silence. "We stick together."

I couldn't help but laugh. I never could. In any circumstance he could always do that.

I could feel the heat of his gaze. It slowly burned away at me, and I ached to return it. But I couldn't. Just out of fear, I couldn't. Fear of what they would say to me. What they would express. He's probably thinking how much better it would be without me here. Wishing I wasn't here. That I would leave and get the fuck away from his family.

My thoughts were interrupted as Kirsten told everyone to get going. Me, Hailey, Marissa and Kirsten left first, leaving the boys to lock up the house.

-

Funerals. I have never been a fan of them. No one ever is. Always loathed them. They are just too sad for me. People all crying, hearts breaking, and just and all round misery contaminated ambience.

And this funeral wasn't going to be any different.

I looked around the temple, checking out the people around. I barely knew half of them. I glanced moved around finally landing on (surprise..) Seth. I looked at him studying his face and I could tell a war was raging inside him. I sighed in gated frustration. I felt…. I felt… I don't know. I just wish things were different, and that I wasn't such a bitch way back when we went our separate ways.

I saw him look at Kirsten and Hailey. Realising that he was going to look at me next I kept my gaze stable, releasing a comforting smile when he did glance at me. He instantly looked away.

The ceremony commenced when a dude in robes went up and claimed the podium.

Time went past as things were read out and speeches exuded.

Hailey's speech was extremely endearing. She understood the way Sandy would have liked the speech's to be. It was on the same level of a speech as the one sandy read at Caleb's Funeral.

Then it was time for Seth's speech. He looked beyond nervous. And I'm sure the crispy tension in the air did not help.

But he has a way with words.

He's walk back to his seat would have been daunting beyond imagination. It's those fucking floor boards…

I didn't have a clue what was going on, but everyone got up and motions made way. I looked ahead to Cohen. He looked like he was about to faint. I could tell. He was starting to lose his balance, trying to swallow constantly, his skinned turned a slightly paler. Before I knew what I was doing I went up and slide my hand into his. I was just waiting for him to pull his hand away in disgust, but it never happened, instead, he grabbed on tightly, securely. I dared not to look at him. I kept my eyes firmly on Sandy. I closed my eyes for a moment saying my good by to him.

A second later I felt Seth's hand start to loosen from my grip. I still held on tightly though, in my usual stubborn way. He then started to use his other hand to peel off my fingers, one at a time. I felt the emotion starting to rise and get control of me but a sob from Seth doused the heat. I looked up at him, seeing a straggling tear on his cheek while he sobbed again. I couldn't help but empathise.

He was trying to do this alone.

What an idiot.

"Cohen, stop being a hero."

I took a hold of his hand, more securely this time, once again lacing my fingers with his. He didn't fight, and seemed as though he resigned to needing my help. At least it's a step.

I looked up at him for moment. He seemed to be lost in his mind. Probably some huge monologue battling the idea of me helping him.

Maybe it's not a step…

My eyes were still trying to read him when another tear slipped out. I took a deep breathe as so many emotions swarmed me.

This poor sweet boy.

He turned around, his hand grabbing mine even tighter, and we made our way down towards the exit of the temple.

-

When everyone got home it was eerie. Both cars arrived at the same time.

I wished they hadn't. The same people went in the same cars again.

As soon as everyone got into the house, we all dispersed in separate directions. I'm not sure where everyone ended up because I made my way to Kirsten's room. As soon as I got there I went to the bathroom inspecting myself in the mirror, looking on fiercely with criticizing eyes.

And I burst into tears. They just streamed out uncontrollably.

I moved over taking a seat on the toilet seat cover, my hands shaking. I didn't even try to wipe the tears away.

After a few moments I tried to gather myself. "Fuck Summer. Come on. Your Okay." I took a few large breaths. "Come on Girl. Your stronger then this."

It hard.

So fucking hard seeing the ones you love, in absolute misery. Their soul's torn, shredded. Hearts burning, stomachs churning, head feeling like its going to burst.

And to be there watching their every move, every feeling, and not being able to do anything. Rended helpless. You just want to do something, _anything_, but cant.

But what's killing me the most, is that around a year ago… I hurt Seth this badly.

-

Please review


	4. XXXX

So I don't know if anyone is still reading this story….but I'm grounded, so yea…

-

The Cohen house was very quite. That eerie quite, the one that makes you nervous, That air of silence that is wavering with cloaked rambunction.

Perhaps it's the silence before the storm, depending on whose eyes you're looking through.

Everyone was doing their own thing. Investing in these scarce and much valued moments of alone time. Each using it how they see fit. How they want to be using it at this very time, not really wanting to savour it.

Kirsten had opted in spending this time by gathering herself. Sitting out at the patio, breathing in the fresh ocean air, taking in the scenery. Just taking a break.

Seth was holding up on the couch laying down, pillow clutched tightly to his chest. He was pretty much zoned out. Just replaying over and over again the whole funeral process; he's speech, Hailey's, the last sighting.

Ryan was sipping on his coffee, sitting in the family room. He was going through in his mind the processes to come. Mentally going through the course for the afternoon.

Hailey was leaning against the kitchen top. She was mainly worrying about the others, cycling through how Seth and Kirsten endured the funeral. How they were holding up, and attempting the see the forecast for what was in store for them soon.

And Summer was calming herself down, staring at the image in the mirror in truancy.

They all stayed in their separate squares of isolation for a while. The time sensation varying considerably from person to person.

Summer was first to break through the square. She never will be one to let anything sear into her, box her in. She checked her make up, staring intensely at every facial feature. Eyes. Nose. Lips. Cheeks. And for some reason, a memory of what Seth had said to her ages ago popped into her head.

- They were half way through their senior year, on just a _normal_ Friday night, just getting ready in the _normal_ routine they usually did when they were going to a once again _normal_ Newport party. He had come to pick her up as per _normal_, walking straight in without knocking, taking a seat on her bed. They exchanged pleasantries before Seth sat patiently for Summer to finish getting ready. And out of nowhere when summer was doing the last check in the mirror, Seth randomly said to her, "Perfection can't be blemished," before smiling shyly, looking at his shoes. -

Summer closed her eyes, breathing for a second. She didn't know what he was rambling on about at the time, just rolling her eyes.

She let her tongue roll over her back left molars, and she couldn't help but wonder how many of these little subtle gifts she had missed. How much she had taken for granted, not dwelling on being appreciative but on feigning her usual annoyance, _just cause_…

She stood up straight, standing in wonderment. "Why the fuck did I have to remember that now." She said harshly, shoving makeup and other crap into the drawer. Not because she was suppose to put it back, but because she felt like shoving crap. It's that rage thing she's got going on.

She looked back at the mirror straitening her dress, tucking her hair behind her ears. Nodding once in acceptance she made her way out towards the kitchen. She stopped suddenly when she saw Seth lying down on the couch. She slowly made her way around to the front of the couch, encumbering herself with her previous thoughts. Seth had his eyes closed, but she could feel that he wasn't asleep. She took a seat on the end of the coffee table facing Seth, her hands nervously waiting in her lap.

Seth, as if sensing her presence, opened his eyes, then immediately closed them. She couldn't help _know_ that he wished she would just go away. Anywhere. Just disperse from his sight. Probably forever.

It hurt Summer something special to see him feel this way about her. To look him face to face, and feel the distaste he is thinking about her. To put it how Summer is thinking right now, "Its fucking chilling." But it's not just _oh damn, he hates me._ It's the connotations of chilling, and the genuine resounding sensation that is, when someone you care _**so**_ deeply for despises you so much. It's the cold shiver of guilt and remorse that spans through your body, letting you know every time you think about it.

After waiting a moment to see if Summer would leave him be, Seth sat up straight. He looked up to meet those known eyes, peering in to birth the confrontation. He purposely had to think of her eyes as known too. Any victory is a victory, doesn't matter if no one knows it.

Summer quietly spoke up. She was too tired and sapped of confidence and self security to adopt her usual approach. "Do you want to help get things started for the wake?"

Seth lowered his eyes to his lap, his face still directed to Summer's. "No, not yet."

Summer blinked a few times, wondering if there are much harder things to do in life then what she is trying to do now. She felt so constricted. She thinks her distaste on the feeling would be strangely close to something Seth's deeply distaste's now….

"Well, I….I am going to go start with the preparations. You can come when you're ready."

She waited a moment, unsure of how to precede next. She wanted to give him reassurance, but if she were to saying anything he could just spin it around and tare into it. And if she wanted to give him reassurance through touch, well she didn't think his look of loathing would go down well.

Seth smiled back patronisingly. "Okay Summer, why don't you go, and I'll meet you there." He said it smoothly without sarcasm, thought summer needn't have to hear it to it's there.

She knew some smart-arse comment was going to emerge soon, so she just shrugged it off. She stood up trying to smile in reassurance before making her way into the kitchen.

Seth shook his head in self loathing after Summer left. "Wow. I'm a fucking loser."

-

The next few hours swept by in bizarre fashion. People came, drank, spoke their memory's, expressed their condolences, ate, then left. The family did their job of mingling and accepting the words. Just standing not really caring what they had to say, just nodding every now and then. Most of these people didn't even understand him anyway. They just glazed over how funny and charming he was, and that he will be sorely missed.

After the first hour Seth got over it, and went to his room for a breather. This was definitely reminding him of why he wanted out of this place for so long.

For Seth, the wake felt off. Like he was doing the rounds, talking to people etc, but it was like he was watching the scene unfold from a third person. From an onlooking person observing the conversation. The totality of the day was getting to him, hence the escape to his room.

He sat on his bed cross legged wondering whether he should go down. He didn't want to piss off his mum or Ryan, but he really didn't like the atmosphere downstairs. His eyes surveyed the room, for some reason it seemed brighter. His eyes eventually landed on a book that lay on his bed side table. He read the title once, narrowing his eyes in usual scepticism.

He opened the bedside drawer, taking out his glass case. With one hand he grabbed the book and with the other he put on his reading glasses. He only got reading glasses last year. He wasn't too proud, but he had been told that they apparently really do suit him.

He held the book in one hand, questioning whether or not to pop the book's cherry. He traced over the letters from the name of the book' spine that frowned up at him. Tapping the spine a few times with the tip of his index finger he decided that now was not the time. He delicately placed the book back on the bedside table, turning to get off his and bed and almost shat himself in fright.

"Ohh shit!" He breathed deeply. After a moment he spoke again. "Joshua, never - Ever, do that again." Seth rolled his head back in anguish.

Joshua was standing their silent and motionless, his hands by his side, innocently smiling unknowingly.

"Shit."

Seth's head snapped back into place, his eyebrows rose in attention. "Ummm…-What?" He said in concentration.

"Shit." Joshua once again repeated, still smiling innocently, playing with his hands.

Seth looked at Josh. "Uhhh- no, no, no…. I said ship." Seth said, slightly worried.

"Shit – Shit. Shit. Shit." Josh continued, casually, as if saying he was thirsty and wanted some milk.

Seth laughed nervously scratching his head. "It's ship, Joshua. Ship…its P at the end, not T. Ship."

But Joshua didn't pay attention. "_Shit_." He said once again, but slowly wording it out, trying to pronounce it properly.

Seth scratched his neck nervously. "O, crap." He muttered softly to himself.

"Joshua, sh -," He stopped, trying to think of a better way to start. "You know that word you just said," he waited for Joshua to nod, "Well that word is not a proper word. And you don't want to be like a baby, making up words and all do you?"

Josh nodded again in agreement. But then after a second shook his head from side to side, in disagreement.

"But I heard you say shit."

Seth slumped his shoulders. He knew he wasn't going to win. He sighed in defeat, and in the knowledge that his manipulation skills were so dodgy, he couldn't even scheme on a young 4 year old boy.

He decided to adopt and knew approach. "Okay buddy, can you keep a secret?"

Joshua instantly smiled. "I sure can. I didn't tell anyone about this morning." He beamed proudly.

Seth calmed a bit at the knowledge that Josh could actually hold a secret. Well as least better then he could.

"But." Josh drifted off dubiously.

Seth looked down at him curiously. "But what?"

"I will keep your secret, but only if you come downstairs with me now." Joshua proposed to innocently.

Seth looked at Joshua in a concerned fashion. "Excuse me?"

Joshua sighed dramatically. "Seth, just come downstairs with me. And it will be all fine." He said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Seth looked at him in amazement. _Wow, I'm getting schooled by a 4 year old._

"Fine." Seth irritably agreed.

"K, good. Lets go." Josh smiled happily

"Wait! Wait!" Seth didn't really like who was dominating the interaction.

"What now?" Joshua said irritated.

Seth regarded him for a moment as he smiled at him impressed. "Do you want to know the meaning of the word?"

Seth hunched over squatting, so that he was face to face with Josh. He whispered some words into his ear about the meaning of the word.

Seth released a sigh of relief after the explanation.

Josh "Ahh-ed" in understanding. "I get ya."

Josh grabbed Seth's hand, leading out of the room downstairs in to the thick of the party. He led him straight through the crowd to the space that Hailey and Ryan occupied.

Josh let go of Seth's hand and tugged at the bottom of Ryan's shirt.

"Can I have my lollies now please?" He smiled up at him proudly.

Hailey laughed at Ryan. "You didn't even start looking and he already found him."

Ryan looked down at Joshua questioningly. "That was… - how did you find him so fast?"

Joshua shrugged indifferently, to eager to get amongst his lollies. "_Lollies._" He proclaimed.

Seth and Hailey just looked on amused as Ryan walked off to get Joshua his prised lollies.

"So where were you hiding?" Hailey questioned Seth.

"Uhh… I just needed a break. Just went to my room for a while." He answered sincerely. "But I had already done the rounds so don't worry."

Hailey nodded back carefully. "You fine?"

Seth nodded back quietly.

Ryan arrived back. "I knew something was up when he proposed the bet."

Hailey raised an eyebrow. "He's like 4 years old. He's not some mastermind hustler."

Seth smiled to himself before walking of to get a drink.

Ryan narrowed his eyes at Seth's retreating form. "I bet they both conspired against me. I saw Seth's sneaky smile. They're probably splitting the lollies right now."

Hailey laughed shaking her head slightly. "Actually, I wouldn't put it past Seth."

Seth poured himself a scotch and coke, not being bothered to wait for a waiter. He laughed at the thought. The irony always got him.

He walked over to the doors that lead to the pool house, opening it slightly. Inside, he discovered a group of kids, which was kind of weird considering that children were never part of the invited, to the party's etc. Seth just shrugged and walked in. It was silent, with all of the kid's eyes glued to the television. Seth moved over to check out what the intriguing show was, before slouching and falling onto the bed when he found out.

Wrestling.

Seth never could understand what was so interesting about it. He found it nauseating watching big muscly men wearing the smallest amounts of clothing possible, rubbing up against each other, with all the holding and touching. He shuddered at the thought.

He sat on the bed, cross legged, and watched over the children as their attention remained in full with the television.

He looked over at Joshua, who was sitting playing with a bunch of familiar toy cars. He smiled to himself watching Joshua enthusiastically line up the cars in no particular order.

Seth knew why he came in here straight away. There were no illusions. He loved reminiscing, thinking back about when times were good. Being a child in Newport not having any problems, life being so simple. He couldn't help the snicker that came out from he's being jealous of these kids.

One of the young girls around seven spoke up as a wrestler made their entrance. "Eww, his making his entrance to G-unit. How lame." She stated purely, complete with head bobble.

Seth spoke up going along with her flow. "I know hey." He shook his head in wondering. "I mean, if I were him I would choose something, way better. Like something heaps gangsta and pumping up… yeah… The pussycat dolls. Definitely."

The young girl scrunched up her face slightly weirded out. "Nooo. You can't do that."

Seth looked back at her, mirroring her facial expression. "What? Why not?"

Joshua faced Seth, looking at him strangely innocently asked. "Why would you choose them?" Totally missing his joke. Well in fairness it was a crap joke.

The young girl added after Josh. "I mean the pussycat dolls, yuk."

Seth laughed at himself while shrugging dismissively. "Well, if you guys say so."

He got up to leave while amusedly mumbling to himself. "It doesn't matter their age, I'm still a loser."

Laughing at himself, (probably the only time he ever laughs sincerely) he opened the pool room door, to be met by the one and only.

His smile instantly leapt off his face.

Summer timidly smiled. "I was just going to check on the kids."

"Mmmm." Was all that Seth said in reply.

"So how are they doing? Everyone still got all their limbs?" Summer inquired nervously.

"Yup." He sucked in his lips rasing his eyebrows in expectation, waiting for her to move aside so he could walk away from her.

Summer looked up at him, visibly saddened. The moment of tension wavered and Seth finally realised that she wasn't going to move. He chewed on his bottom lip for a second before taking a step back slowly closing the pool room door.

Summer released a laboured breathe she didn't even know she was holding. This was really starting eat at her. Seth was just ignoring her. Acting like she wasn't, isn't part of his life any more. Just an insignificant mishap that he happened to come across in his life.

She inhaled an uneasy breathe. She glanced up to the door, deciding to open it.

She walked through it peering around, to check out where Seth was. She stood quietly realising that he hadn't notice her follow him in. He was sitting down playing cars with Joshua, talking animatedly about something.

After a minute of paralysing insecurities and self doubt passed, she tremulously made her way over taking a seat on the ground next to Seth and Joshua.

Seth looked up immediately when he saw a figure. Summer saw him instantly clench his jaw and she felt the question surround them.

Was she going to sit down with them?

Seth's eyes lingered on her. Watching. Waiting.

It wasn't like he was daring her personally. It was like, _this is how it's playing out_. She chose to come in, is she going to follow through.

Summer bit her lip anxiously as she simply stared at Seth. She kept eye contact as she slowly sat down next to Joshua. Seth just looked away as if he was bored boy looking at birds flying around in pretty patterns.

They were sitting in a triangle shape. Seth and Summer were sitting opposite each other with Joshua between them and slightly to the side so that the cars were in the middle of the triangle.

And Seth just straight up ignored her presence. He just engaged himself once again in the toy cars.

He starting sorting out the cars with Joshua and telling him all the special things about them. Joshua sat their totally oblivious to the tension surrounding him, listening to every word that Seth was saying.

And Summer just sat there, wordlessly. Just watching the two of them getting all happy about some stupid toy cars. As time went on, the more frustrated and exasperated Summer became. It sinuously built up till she just couldn't handle it.

"So you're just going to ignore me.?" She said softly. It came out exactly how she was feeling.

And Seth ignored it to the bone. He didn't even stir. If Summer didn't know any better she would have thought he didn't hear. Except she knew that he did.

Summer breathed in again and she tightened her jaw.

"Seth." She whispered.

But nothing.

Seth ran his fingers through a pile of cars, his fingers landing on a fairly large purple car. "Joshua Check this out."

His voice didn't even seem fazed.

"This car can open up, and guess what's inside?" Seth said excitedly. He placed the car in Joshua's keen open hand.

"Don't tell me it's another car." He said elated.

Summer just watch on solemnly.

Joshua smiled once he had opened it up. "Ohh that is _so_ cool."

Seth smiled sweetly at Joshua. "Yeah it is huh. Actually, there are a few other cars that have special things about them."

Summer was getting worn down again. "Seth." She once again pronounced.

And again he totally ignored her. Summer swallowed as she started burning up.

"Really what else is there?" Joshua asked.

"Cohen…" Summer asked once more, but a bit more headedly and with expectation.

Seth languidly picked up another car still completely unfazed. "This one changes colour if u put it next to something cold or hot." He said pointing to an even orange coloured car.

Summer felt the anguish rising, frustration creeping, and she could tell Seth knew too. She was staring intently at him. "So what…. you're just - you're just going to pretend that I…" she couldn't even finish the sentence. She bit down on her bottom lip sighing.

"No waaaayyyyy." Joshua exclaimed wide eyed.

Seth nodded earnestly. "Oh, I'm speaking the truth. Here let me show you." He picked up the car, holding it still for a moment. He then leant forward to Summer, holding the car out, placing it close to her heart. Summer just looked up at him wondering what the hell he was doing.

"See when you put it next to something really cold, the car turns blue." He then leant back so he was in his previous sitting position and out of Summer's arm's length.

Josh looked at him puzzled.

Summer glared at him in a clearly unimpressed expression. Her mouth slightly ajar, eyes searing, left eyebrow raised, tongue poised, words itching to come out.

Seth's eyes took in her whole appearance. And at this moment he _couldn't not_ think she was looking. So. Fucking. Hot.

And all his brain could say was "_wow_."

After a moment of turbulent silence passed Summer spoke up, breaking him out of his hypocritical reverie.

"That's funny is it?" Summer heatedly asked / invited.

Seth held the car up as if blocking Summer's line of sight. "And now the car will turn red."

Fuck he could be such a smartass Summer thought to herself. She inhaled a large breathe to calm herself down, but it didn't do shit. She just wanted to…

She didn't even know.

Fuck she hated how he could do that too her.

"I don't get it…" Joshua said annoyed before crossing his arms, not too happily.

Seth just smiled endearingly at him.

"That's cause there's nothing to get sweetie." Summer explained eloquently before returning her harsh gaze to Seth.

Josh looked up at her confused.

She looked back down at Josh altering her harsh gaze to a soft motherly one. "Joshua, why don't you go try and check it out in the bathroom."

Joshua looked back at her still confused. "How would the bathroom help?" He thought for a moment before figuring it out for himself. "Ohh, the taps. Hot and cold."

He got up and ran eagerly to the pool house bathroom leaving Seth and Summer sitting face to face.

Summer looked at Seth after watching Josh flee, but to her utter dismay Seth was also attempting to.

Summer wanted to tell him to stop. To talk to her. To just say something, anything. A 'get away from' or 'just leave me alone' would be better then getting purely ignored. Maybe its cause what just happened a few hours ago at the funeral, and this was his way of evening it out. Or maybe it's because he actually can't stand to be in her presence.

She watched him longingly as he left the pool house.

Summer after a moment, asked herself what the hell she was trying to do when she followed him in here? She knew that if they started to talk, things would escalate _real_ quick. And it really wasn't the place to have a screaming matching.

Maybe Cohen knew that? She thought optimistically. A slither of doubt wormed it's way into her thoughts, but she gated it, concentrating on her optimism.

-

The Wake had finished, and everyone sighed in relief.

It went by relatively uneventfully, which in this household was a welcomed pleasant surprise.

All the guess' had left and the caters had all but finished the cleaning up. Ryan was splade out on the family room couch exhausted. Hailey was sipping on coffee on the phone. Summer was playing with Joshua in the living room.

Seth came from the bathroom. He wasn't up to anything shifty, he had just been washing his face and taking a breather. He sat languidly next to Ryan on the couch.

"Where is everyone?" Seth asked.

"Dunno. I think Hailey is on the phone." He replied.

"Did mum go anywhere?"

"Umm, I don't think so. I think she is outside near the pool."

Seth was curious. "What is she doing out there by herself?"

Ryan turned to Seth confused why that was such a big deal. "I don't know. She just wants to be alone."

Seth inwardly cringed. He knew exactly what being alone felt like. And at a time like this, no one wants to be alone.

He got up and was about to go check up on his mum when he stilled. "Umm, Ryan? Summer's not out there with her is she?"

Ryan did a weird sigh / smile thing. "Nah she isn't. She is playing with Josh in the living room.

Seth breathed a sigh of relief turning to make his way to the pool, but turned back after one step. He looked down at Ryan curiously.

"Didn't you say that you didn't know where anyone was?"

Ryan just shrugged. "I didn't know if they were going to be still there..."

Seth shook his head. "And you guys think I'm the weird one." He said as he made his way out to the pool. He got to the glass doors that lead to the pool, halting himself at them. He peered over the check if Kirsten was there, which she was. To his surprise Joshua was sitting in her lap. They were not talking or anything, they were just simply sitting together.

Seth waited, watching over them for a few moments. They were still no words spoken. He waited another couple of minutes before opening the door and making his way to them. Before he could make it to the steps, Joshua was standing in front of him simply looking up at him.

"Hey." Seth said.

Joshua answered by smiling up at him.

Seth licked his lips curiously. "What were you guys doing?"

Joshua replied unknowingly, in an even, simple answer. "She just needed someone to sit with her."

Josh shrugged as he trudged in to the house. Seth watched him go as a foreign warmth filled him.

He walked over to the pool taking a seat at the side of the corner. He rolled up his pants to his knees, dipping his legs in the pool. Kirsten was sitting perpendicular to him, her legs already comforted by the soothing water.

Kirsten sadly smiled up to him.

Seth endearingly smiled back before saying abruptly, "Hi mummy."

Kirsten slightly laughed. "Hi Son."

"What cha doing?" Seth inquired.

Kirsten leaned back placing her hands in her lap. "Ohh nothing. Just thinking…" she drifted off.

He raised his eyebrows in knowing. "Thinking, huh….Well you know that doesn't to anybody any good."

Kirsten looked at him pursing her lips together. "Actually I like thinking about things. Thinking them through… understanding…" She once again drifted off.

Seth waited a moment, reflecting on what his mother was talking about.

He smiled up at her saying softly, "If you say so."

The time was around 7, and the sun was well on its way to hiding. The sky had a few clouds scattered around which left the sight calming and peaceful, tranquil even.

Kirsten looked up taking it all in. She inhaled smoothly before exhaling. "Life.."

Seth smiled solemnly, "Life." He repeated.

She scrunched up her mouth and nose and Seth thought about how special his mum is. "It's a bitch isn't it."

Seth laughed. He definitely wasn't expecting that out of his mother's mouth.

"Ohh, _isn't it_." He said back, smiling endearingly.

She laughed at his response, placing her hands behind her, leaning back onto their support.

The clicking of heels came from behind them. They both looked back, Seth hoping to God that it wasn't Summer.

Hailey came gracefully strolling up the few stairs. She took a seat next to Seth, using his shoulder as leverage to help herself sit steadily.

"God Seth." Hailey exclaimed once she was seated. "Could you be any worse at being my leverage to sit?"

"Yeah, he is quite unstable…" Summer appeared from nowhere walking to the side of Kirsten, taking a seat by her side, dipping her feet in to the pool as well.

Seth let the innuendo roll off his back. Psshhh, if she wanted to play _that _game, he would play that game. He would play _it_ way better then she had ever seen _it_ before.

He was concentrating on not letting Hailey push him in to the pool, and had not noticed Summer making her way after Hailey. Why does she have to impede on everything, invite herself everywhere.

"You were so wobbly," Hailey pressed, "I don't want to fall in to the pool."

"You were so jarring," Seth indifferently replied, "I don't want to fall in to the pool either."

Kirsten just simply looked on, watching her family interact.

"Don't be so flimsy." Hailey sordidly replied.

Seth mouthed '_what'_. "I'm sorry…" he wheezed. "I'll just change my body structure right now…"

"Good, you do that."

Ryan came walking up, taking a seat next to Summer. He copied everyone else, rolling up his pants and dipping his feet into the pool.

Seth watched Ryan take his seat before asking, "Where is Marissa?"

He shrugged "I don't know. I only see little Marissa now."

Seth's eyes widened. "You mean Marissa has a child! Wow, that's interesting."

Everyone looked at him weirdly.

Ryan shook his head, not at all surprised that Seth came to that conclusion. "I meant it as in I don't see much of her cause of her demanding job."

Seth pursed his lips together wondering why he said that. "Okay then, fair enough"

"Anyways…" Seth said trying to move on, "The wake was all good? No blunders or anything?

Kirsten nodded. "Yeah, I think it all went well. People all seemed alright, so I think it's safe to say we are in the clear."

"Yeah, everything went as planned." Ryan remarked. "The caterer's had everything timed, and ran on schedule with it, so yea, it was good."

"Anyone hear any comments on the food? Cause Terrence Walsh, was complaining….once again." Hailey rolled her eyes.

"He said it to you too!?" Summer laughed. "Oh my god, he whinged to me too about it."

"The Prawn Wadis was…" Hailey started before Summer chimed in finishing the sentence at the same time. "just too salty." They both finished off laughing snidely at the poor guy.

Seth spoke up softly feeling sorry for the poor fella being picked on by the two harpies'. "It's just his opinion."

"It was not too salty." Summer gestured with her hand. Hailey shrugged agreeing with her.

"I'm just saying, he might not like salty food." Seth tried to reason.

Summer simply looked at him saying evenly, "But it wasn't salty."

Ryan looked blandly at Kirsten who smiled back.

"I'm just saying, _he_ might not like salt. It's just, in _his_ opinion, it _was_ salty." Seth carefully explained, actually not being a smartass about it.

Summer, now working her attitude, looked at Hailey rasing an eyebrow before looking back at Seth. "Well his opinion is wrong."

Seth tilted his head to the side, his eyes remaining on his life antagonist. He felt that tingle sprout in his chest.

"Summer," he said purely, "an opinion can't be wrong."

She stated back menacingly. "Yes it can."

He narrowed he's eyebrows. "No, it _can't_." He replied.

"Yes, it can." She said back in the same menacing tone, adding a condescending nuance. "You see, what you wore yesterday…. in your opinion was cool, but sweetie, it was just plain wrong." She appeased condescendingly.

Seth looked at her in that "you're an idiot" way, his bottom lip visibly wet and full. "Yeah, sure thing. Cause your logic counts for so much."

Summer smiled sweetly. "Uh huh."

Seth licked his lips watching her, waiting a few moments. Ryan, Kirsten and Hailey could see him getting into it. "That doesn't mean – that's just what you – …. I don't care." His body language betraying his words. He wasn't stuttering. He was smoothly saying he words, just chopping and changing which direction to reply to her.

Summer remained level. "That's what I thought." Still implemented the same tone that was gnawing at Seth. She knew it too.

Hailey Ooooed at her reply.

Seth quickly nodded his head once as the tingle ignited in his brain. "It's funny how you are saying that, but you don't have a clue what clothes I was actually wearing."

The both of them were sliding deeper into the _'discussion'_ (not argument), becoming oblivious to the others who were sitting back enjoying the theatre.

Summer sighed; promoting the idea he had lost and was just wasting his time. "And what clothes were they?" she said raising her eyebrows in question.

Seth on whim tried to say two brands that Summer would deem high wearing quality. "I was wearing a plain white '_Guess'_ T-shirt and some…" he drifted off trying to figure out how to pronounce the next brand. He didn't know how to, so he just mumbled it. "And some '_Soobie'_ light blue jeans."

Summer did a disbelieving laugh, shaking her head. "Firstly, you so didn't - and secondly, you can't even spell," she paused for affect, "'_Soobie'"_ she mocked, by saying it how he did.

Hailey looked over to Summer, sharing a secret laugh.

Seth Shrugged confidently. "T-s-u-b-i"

Summer smiled, it was like taking patronising to a whole new level.

Seth felt it was demeaning.

"What?" He asked slightly irritated, doing his best to cover it up. This time his tone and words were betraying his body language.

Summer just shrugged, _not_ at all modestly.

Seth looked at Hailey who was silently laughing. He looked to his mum, who shrugged.

"I've never even heard of the brand." She supplied as an apology.

He looked to Ryan who raised his eyebrows as if saying, 'Are you guys still talking about clothes?'

"Okay, what?" Seth said, over it. "Just put me out of my misery." He continued harmonically.

Summer laugh dwindled to an end, hesitating at the pure tone and words Seth choose to use. She looked around to the other wondering if they caught it too, but gauging from their body language she guessed they didn't. Maybe she was just hypersensitive to his undertones.

"It's umm, it's spelt K-s-u-b-i." She stated knowingly.

Seth opened his mouth but then closed it. "Crap." He exhaled loudly. "I could have sworn it was T."

Hailey laughed before filling him in. "It was named with a T, but they changed it."

He looked at her in a non to pleased fashion. "Who does that, who changes the name of their brand once it becomes recognised?" Seth said mystified.

"I think they were getting sued or something." Hailey filled in.

"Stupid universe." He muttered. "Just wanted to make me lose." He continued to himself. "Dammit, she wanted to play _that _game. I'm just going along with what she wants, getting strung along… as per usual."

_Fuck. Why couldn't I have just said diesel or Calvin Klein. _

_Wait, is it 'I' before 'E' or_ _other way around_…._ Stupid universe._

"Whatever." Seth spoke up. "My clothes are comfortable and cool, so beat it."

Summer nodded endearingly in pseudo agreement. "Uh huh, yeah sure."

And the mocking got to him, it passed his line of tolerance. He looked back straight at her, confronting her teasing straight on. "Well that is just _your_ opinion, and I stoping caring about that a long time ago, so I could not possibly care less of what you think or say."

An unnerving tension took captive of the ambiance.

Summer's eyes lit up, a snide smile laced her lips. "Cohen…" she once again appeased, "I know your hero is Napoleon Dynamite and everything, but try not dressing and idolising someone who everyone laughs at, not with."

He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head ever so slightly. Summer could see she was really getting to him, she could see the retort gathering, the words percolating, anxious and eager to escape and wreak havoc.

But then he stopped.

He just dipped his head watching as he splashed his feet in the pool….

After a moment Ryan uncharacteristically spoke up. "So how is it to be back? Much stuff changed?"

Seth shrugged putting on another one of his small fake smiles. "It's Newport. It will be the same forever."

Summer was only now feeling the totality of what Seth had previously said, about him not caring about her opinion etc. Her shoulders where slumped and a distasteful gnawing at the pit of her stomach was working its way to capturing her full attention.

"What about the people? Heaps of people have changed… new hair dues, implants, personality's…." Ryan drifted off waiting for Seth to say something.

Seth laughed at Ryan saying new personality's. "New personality's, well that wouldn't surprise me." He thought for a moment thinking of how to answer Ryan's question. "Well… I'm not sure, I wasn't really paying attention to that stuff."

"What about Danny Helden. The dude is on verge of a nervous breakdown." Hailey asked.

"I didn't really know him that well before." Seth one shoulder shrugged.

"Ohh." He gasped upon remembering, everyone looked at him suddenly very interested. "Taryn flirted with me."

Everyone sighed in disappointment. "Who hasn't she flirted with." Hailey proclaimed shamelessly.

"Really?" Seth said surprised.

Ryan laughed. "Yeah dude. I have been in some _very_ uncomfortable situations before"

Summer slightly squirmed smiling timidly. "She even confronted me with a proposal once."

Kirsten gasped at Summer's revelation. "Are you serious?"

Summer nodded back coyly.

Kirsten shook her head slightly from side to side. "Wow."

"What you think of think of Bella Dean? A bit bigger huh?" Ryan once again questioned.

Hailey added. "She put on a ton of weight."

Seth nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she pulled a ripchord."

They laughed before Hailey said, "So true." She smiled then continued. "I saw you talking to Sara for a while. How was that?"

Summer wasn't paying much attention to the conversation. Her mind was still walking through Seth's comments.

Seth shook his head from side to side, in displeasure. "She just stuck to me and wouldn't let go. And she was so boring. It was like talking to a shoe."

Hailey looked at him in confusion. "You mean she is like an accessory?"

"I was actually going for rubber soul. Like synthetic, artificial, but whatever's good for you." He shrugged.

Hailey laughed. "Just put a label on her."

Kirsten looked at him guardedly. "She is not that bad. She is fine when I talk to her."

Hailey grinned. "Ask Summer how she is." She said as everyone looked at her.

Summer shrugged indifferently. "She gave me the shits one day so I just ignore her."

Hailey laughed. "She blatantly ignores what she says. Then when she asks why Summer didn't do it Summer acts all energetic, pretending like she totally forgot. It's hilarious."

Seth looked vigilantly from Hailey to Summer back to Hailey. "How is that different from what Summer's normally like?" Feigning like he was being serious, cause he actually kinda was. "Ryan don't you hate it when girls lie to you, then go off and do something else?"

Ryan answered carefully. "Yeah…"

Summer regarded Seth momentarily before saying, "Hailey, don't you hate it how guys always misunderstand things, and aren't bothered to _try_ and understand. They just cast it aside as not their fault cause they cant see it with their narrow retarded short sightedness."

Hailey replied cautiously. "Yaa…"

Seth looked directly at Summer. "Ryan don't you –"

"Urggh. You guys have already done this, remember." Kirsten raised her eyebrows in expectation. "Remember last night? Lost? The tv each other?"

Ryan and Hailey looked at each thinking 'wtf?'

Kirsten looked at Seth to Summer back to Seth, waiting for them to cave into resignation. But neither seemed to be backing down. They were just too caught up in each other.

'_Somethings never change_, she thought to herself.

"That felt like ages ago." Seth mumbled

"Enough with the double meaning convo. You've done it before, it's lame and old." She stated tiredly.

Seth shrugged evenly, his eyes sparkling. "Fine, fuck innuendo, Summer you - "

Summer raised her hand to cut him off but started talking anyways. "You can act pretentious to what happened but - "

There was just mutterings of accusations and claims of different things, their voices overlapping each other for a few moments before Hailey coughed out, "Time and a place people, time and a place."

Kirsten knowingly said softly. "It's just their visceral connection."

Summer and Seth both wound down to silence. Seth breathed heavily, his eyes lids hanging low and Summer could only imagine what was going through his head at this moment, the genuine distaste and loathing.

Seth gritted his teeth to make sure he didn't start talking / shouting at her again. God she is just unbelievable. He just buried his father a few hours ago, he's feeling weary and miserable, and just to make it worse she wants to hang around and be around _his_ family _all the time_.

They both knew what was happening. They had been prolonging the confrontation. It needed to be had, and it was cause tension and emotions to spill out at random conversations and it was starting to affect others.

The quite continued, and it reminded Seth of that eerie quite that he heard at the beginning of the chapter.

The quite adopt a morose nuance, it's like you could see it floating in the air around them.

After a few moments Kirsten softly spoke up. She placed a hand on Seth's legs who was sitting to her right. She placed a hand on Summer's arm who was sitting to her left. She said softly while looking from Hailey to Seth to Summer to Ryan, "You are all I have left."

The quite spoke up taking his que.

Seth took hold of his mother's hand, giving to a warm embrace.

"You guys are all I have now. You are all I have left." She sighed "You are all I have left to live for." She leaned back looking up into the sky. "And you Newport, you can't even give me a stupid normal sun set."

Everyone smiled.

And Seth spoke, cause he had to. "Eh Newport. You're like frivolous homeless people. You just don't make sense."

Summer and Ryan shook their heads, not at all surprised.

Hailey looked over at Seth. "You, just… wow"

"I love you too, Aunty." Eh proclaimed without hesitation.

"Don't call me aunty. Ever. I'm getting married soon. I don't need to be feeling any older then I already am."

Summer jotted in. "Aww sweetie you're not old. Besides it's what's in the heart that counts."

Seth laughed at Summer's response. "Mmmmm-hmmm. I can't agree more." It was smeared in sarcasm.

Hailey and Summer looked at each other before turning their gaze on Seth. "At least you two can agree on one thing."

"Ahhhhh clever" he faked laughed. "At least we know you didn't loose that many brain cells from your extra curricular activities."

Kirsten sat watching her family. The one she just claimed to live for, to be her everything, bicker for no reason. She took a relaxing breath.

She was so proud.

"Whatever Seth" Hailey said nonchalantly. "You got nothing."

"Whatever Hailey." He repeated her sentiment. "Ahh my backs a bit sore, it must be from all that weight that was using me as leverage."

Hailey looked at him incredulously. "See you got nothing."

"Owww." He felt up his back going along with faking his back pain, his face contorted in faked agony. "Damn I might have a stress fracture from all that weight."

Hailey raised her eyebrows. "Keep it up Seth we'll see what else gets fractured." She said warningly even she was smiling,"

"You said you would only fight me verbally."

"I was talking about your ego." She smiled

Summer added her two cents. "Cause we all know who would win in a real one." She said lightly.

Kirsten laughed taking in the beautiful sunset. "Don't bite off more then you can chew sweetie." Its tranquillity must have been working on her.

Seth splashed a little not liking getting ganged on. He looked from his mom to Summer. "Thankyou Summer that was so useful."

"Your welcome. It was useful huh."

"Yeah totally. As about as useful as a stripper's name."

Kirsten looked at him raising an eyebrow. "That better not be from experience."

Seth quivered for a moment. "Nahh, its not, its just Ryan - " He looked over at Ryan who was shaking his head furiously telling Seth '_don't drag me into this_' "Its umm - Hailey told me."

Summer watched on smiling. He always puts his foot in it.

Kirsten furrowed her brow in confusion. "How would Hailey know?"

Hailey nodded in agreement still glaring at him. "Yeah Seth, how would I know?"

Summer and Ryan both started laughing.

Seth just repeated his mother's earlier statement. "Don't bite off more then you can chew. Done, lesson learned."

"Uhuh." Kirsten said sceptically.

Seth just smiled back sweetly.

Kirsten shook her head. He definitely is Sandy's Son.

"So anyone's legs becoming numb or is it just me?" Ryan asked. No wonder why he never talks, his timing matches the amount of hair he has on his chest.

But none the less everyone agreed, getting out of the pool. They slowly made their way into the house.

But once Seth got to the door he stopped, waited. He knew what he had to do. He turned to meet Summer face to face. A shiver of angst rippled down his spine. He lowered his head before raising it to meet her eyes, which were glued to his. He motioned to the stairs with his head before lowering his head making his way to them. Summer suddenly became assumed with trepidation and uncertainty, shakingly followed behind him.

-

And so the story begins….


End file.
